One week from today we take off for our “Housewife Heroes” excursion to New York City, including lunch with Melissa Gorga and a session with her make-up artist.
As I made plans for the trip, it made me wonder what would happen if a Real Housewife of New Jersey (RHONJ) and a Real Housewife of Boring-town Suburbia (RHOBS, yes the “BS” was intentional) were both asked the same questions in an interview. This is what I imagine their answers would be…
RHONJ: I have a convertible and I just love the Italian Leather seats and feeling the wind blow through my hair when I put the top down.
RHOBS: I have an SUV with Italian spaghetti sauce stains on my leather seats. Or is it ketchup? Maybe I should pick up one of those old French fries on the floor and find out. The wind blows my hair in my eyes but I can’t roll up the windows because the car smells like spoiled milk. They really shouldn’t call those cups “spill-proof.”
Interviewer: Where is your favorite place to shop?
RHOBS: Target! You can get a new outfit, groceries, laundry detergent and kitty litter - all in one stop. Best. Idea. Ever.
Interviewer: What do you wear when having lunch with friends?
RHOBS: I wear whichever yoga pants are clean. If I can find the matching shirt, that’s a plus.
RHONJ: Oh yes, I go to a hot yoga class at my gym 3 times a week.
RHOBS: Sort of. One time when I was doing yoga at home, the air conditioning was broken. Does that count?
Interviewer: When you’ve had a stressful week, how do you relax?
RHONJ: A day at the spa for an appointment with my favorite masseuse, a caviar facial and time in the jacuzzi.
RHOBS: Well, last week I decided to try the green tea mud mask that I received as a gift two years ago. The doorbell rang after I applied the mask. When I answered the door, it was a neighborhood kid who ran away screaming something about an alien. I started to draw a bath before the doorbell rang but forgot to put the stopper in the tub. By the time I got back to the bathroom, there was no hot water left. And I think the mud mask was past its expiration date because my face still has a greenish hue.
Interviewer: I was just listening to the new single “I Just Wanna.” How do feel about the new song?
RHONJ: I love it! The press has been hounding me since the release.
RHOBS: I love it! When I try to sing, it makes my dog just wanna howl.
Interviewer: What is your favorite quote?
RHONJ: “I never throw the first punch, but I’m always a knock out.”
RHOBS: “If I get knocked down, I will probably just lay there and take a nap”
Interviewer: How would others describe your life?
RHONJ: I live a life that most girls only dream of.
RHOBS: I live a life that most girls only have nightmares about.
Interview: What is your favorite mixed drink?
RHONJ: Voli’s “Mango Coconut”
RHOBS: Voli’s “Mango Coco-My-Kids-Make-Me-Nuts”
While there may be many differences between the lifestyles of The Housewives on TV and regular housewives, they all are real women, real Moms – and real housewives! So when Melissa Gorga and I meet for lunch, hopefully we will have plenty to talk about while having a cocktail. And maybe some “whine.”
Have any questions you want me to ask Melissa??? Leave them in a comment and I’ll try my best to get the answers!