Jake told me my 100th post needed to be something special. You get this instead.
Me (without looking away from my computer): I saw that.
Me: You better apologize before I get to 3.
Jake: For what?
Me: 1. 2.
Jake: I didn’t moon them!
Me: I never said moon.
Jake: Hu…? Dang it. You’re good.
In the “should never have to come out of my mouth” category…
“Don’t stand on the chair and fart in your brother’s face.”
Not to the 8 year old. Or the 10 year old. Or even the 13 year old. Yes, I did indeed need to say those words to the 16 year old.
Jimmy blew a straw wrapper at Eric and hit him right between the eyes.
Me: Good shot.
Jimmy: I’ve had lots of practice sniping.
Me: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
During a conversation about past restaurant jobs…
Me: In high school, I was a cook and a busgirl but not a waitress.
Greg to Jim: Were you ever a waitress?
100th post AND 6 months since I started Momopolize. And you get farts and butts. And the image of Jim in a waitress uniform.