The Mother Of All Meltdowns – Memories and Review

I was thrilled to be asked to be part of the blog book tour for “The Mother Of All The Mother Of All Meltdowns Book CoverMeltdowns” because:

  1. Over half of the contributors are my wonderfully talented blogger buddies!!  (The contributors are ALL talented.  I just haven’t had the pleasure of getting to know the other half.  Yet!)
  2. Who doesn’t love to hear that other Moms have full blown conniption fits too?!

This fantastic compilation of stories had me yelling at the book, “Yes!” “Me too!” “Exactly!” “Been there done that!” and “I’m glad I’m not alone!” Yes, I actually yelled at the book.

The best thing about the book for me was that so many stories brought back memories of similar incidents that have happened to me.  And I realized that I can now LAUGH at most of them, even though they seemed mortifying at the time.  (I say most because some will ALWAYS be cringe-worthy.  Toddler tantrums ain’t got nuthin’ on Mommy meltdowns.)

One particular memory that was dredged up happened when I read the story “From Goldilocks to Dreaded locks.”  It reminded me of a time Jimmy gave himself a haircut.  With boys, self-inflicted hair cuts aren’t a huge deal.  Just give them a short buzz cut and you are good to go, right?  But one particular “trim” was a little more traumatic for this Mom.  My husband still hasn’t lived down that this happened on his watch.

I was out for the day and came home to find Jim having a work meeting in our dining room, with Jimmy in the next room doing “crafts.”  Crafts with glue and scissors.  I went to say hello to Jimmy and thought he looked a bit tired but was soon distracted by that fact when I saw piles of hair on the table.  And a large almost bald spot on top of his head.  I remained calm (I didn’t have a choice since Jim was having a meeting) and took Jimmy up to his room for a time-out and lecture that cutting your own hair leads to a life of crime.  Or something like that.

Since he looked so tired, I wasn’t surprised that he fell asleep during his time-out.  However when he still looked tired after his punishment induced nap, I started to worry that he was sick.  Closer examination of the problem made ME feel sick though.  He looked tired because he had CUT OFF HIS EYE LASHES!  (I should add that Jimmy was the toddler who had to-die-for lashes.  So long that celebrities would pay thousands for fake replicas.  People would comment on them DAILY.  And now they were GONE.)  Fortunately Jim’s meeting was over because I completely flipped out.  I would like to say that my first concern was that he could have stabbed his eye with the scissors, but that was a distant second.  I was so upset that the lashes were gone.  THOSE lashes.  Those PERFECT lashes.

I screamed.  I cried.  I paced.  I Googled “do eyelashes grow back??”  (The answer “in seven YEARS” wasn’t very comforting.)  It was horrible.  I think my head may have actually spun around.

About 13 years later, Jimmy’s eyes are still his most talked about feature.  But the lashes?  I swear they never completely grew back.Wait Until You See What I Cut This Time

While that will never be a “pleasant” memory for me, I can at least chuckle at the absurdity of it now.  The book brought back many other ridiculously funny (or just ridiculous) meltdown memories such as getting locked out of the house by an angry child, cursing “the most magical place on earth,” the boss who insisted on knocking on my office door EVERY day when I was pumping, the moment of being told it was too late for an epidural…the list goes on.

I will have to tell those stories another time, but for now you MUST go read the stories in The Mother Of All Meltdowns.  The stories are short enough that you can read one while waiting in the carpool line and finish another before the kids find you hiding in the bathroom.  Or you can get sucked in like I did and read the entire book in one sitting.  I promise you will laugh (and even cry) and most importantly…feel NORMAL for coming unglued now and then.  The stories will make you feel like you are right there with “a bunch of hot mamas losing their cool!”

P.S. I received a complimentary copy of the book to review, but all opinions are 100% my own!

18 thoughts on “The Mother Of All Meltdowns – Memories and Review”

  1. My daughter cut her hair too…ugh…but eyelashes!! I thought I lost it with the hair. I would have gone crazy on the eyelashes! Just…WOW. Thanks for the great review – I am so glad you enjoyed it!!

  2. LOVE LOVE LOVED the book!! I feel so fortunate that my kids never cut their own hair ( or EYELASHES) I think I’m out of the woods now since they are 13 and 10, but I’m still going to knock on wood anyway right this minute. EVERYONE should read “The Mother of All Meltdowns”. It is so nice to know we’re not alone out here!! –Lisa

  3. We haven’t had any hair cutting incidents at our house, but we did have a collaborative masterpiece drawn on the bedroom wall. My boys were so proud of themselves!! Until I told them they had to erase it.

  4. Surprisingly neither of my kids have ever cut their own hair, but I vividly remember when my little sister did it…the day before picture day (of course!) Thanks for hosting us today, and I’m glad to count you among my blogging buddies now!

  5. My son has the best eyelashes. I’d freak out too if he cut them off! Thanks for the awesome review. I found myself yelling at the book too as I read. 🙂

  6. Aw…I love that you gave my story a shout out! Thank you for letting me and the rest of the world know we are not alone. 🙂 I started sweating when I read yours and the eyelashes. OMG! My head would have totally spun. Thank you so much for this awesome review!

  7. Eyelashes!! OMG I had’t even thought of that!!! I thought I would die the day my daughter cut her own hair, it really does produce it’s own kind of horror!! Lol! I read The Mother of all Meltdowns, and I loved it!!! What a great review!!

  8. Eyelashes – wow! I’ve heared of eyebrow trimming gone wrong, but this is new to me – so glad he didn’t poke his eye out. Thanks for the review, Angela – you rock!

  9. OMG I cannot BELIEVE that he cut off all of his eyelashes! Yikes. I’d have had a major meltdown too! Thanks for the most party-on excellent review.

  10. WOW!!! Just wow!! Thank GOD he didn’t cut his eyeballs in the process!!! I would have FREAKED out too!!! I loved your review! Thanks so much for supporting us!!!
    The cheese-less grilled cheese mom. 😉

  11. I went to school with a kid that got “slightly” burnt and his eyelashes fell out. It was the most bizarre event and looked so disturbing that I remember it nearly 30 years later. I could not even imagine my child doing this. Thanks for the review of our book. Can’t wait to meet ya!

  12. A friend of mine’s son pulled out his eyelashes! Ouch! And, ugh, to cutting them off! I have to say that your toddler had very good fine motor skills. How’s that for looking at the bright side? Thank you for reviewing our book, Angela. It was a really fun read!

  13. Oy! I shaved my eyebrows off — not completely but a good portion — in the 5th grade ’cause I was getting teased about my bushy brows. My mom went ballistic. I think I was grounded too. And my son gave himself a haircut with fishers scissors at our pediatrician’s house! Just one side. Kid looked like he was recovering from brain surgery for a while. It grew back. 🙂 Funny post.

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