Category Archives: pets

Not the Brightest Bulb in the Chandelier

Ray
The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

Our orange cat, Rayo, is sweet.  And handsome.

And dim.

The following scenario has happened THREE times…

Greg’s black stuffed animal dog ends up on the floor.  Ray sees it motionless.  He circles the dog, moaning the most horrible mourning meow you’ve ever heard.  Then he lays next to the dog, continuing to howl until someone picks it up.

Why, you ask?

Because he thinks it is our black cat, Mushu.  And he thinks he is dead.

Ray and the stuffed dog

That’s right, he can’t tell the difference between a stuffed dog and a real cat (who he has lived with for 3 years).

We named him Rayo for “rayo de sol” which means ray of sunshine in Spanish.

Unfortunately, it is always a bit cloudy in his world.

On second thought, maybe I can understand the confusion…

mushu on back

We do love our “Cloudy with a Chance of Rayo” cat.

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days…

Kittens 1 week old 03-02-13

…unless the guests look like this.

Then they start to smell after three weeks (when they start eating kitten food).

Barely bigger than the cat toy, these foster kittens will be our house guests for the next 7 weeks or so.

Aren’t they just the cat’s meow??

“If only cats grew into kittens.” ~ R. Stern

The Birds and the Bees. And the Cats.

I almost had to explain a different meaning to “in the heat”of the moment.

Our current foster cat, Mona, was rescued with her 2 kittens, who were adopted a couple of weeks ago.  When a Momma cat realizes her kittens are “missing,” she frantically searches and howls for them for a few days.  It is sad.  They move on though.

But Mona started howling again.

Because she is in heat.

Moan-a is a good name for her right now.

Her actions prompted this conversation:

Hey good lookin'.  Buy me a glass of milk?
Hey good lookin’. Buy me a glass of milk?

Eric: Poor Mona.  She is still meowing and looking for her babies.

Me: MmmHmm.  She is looking for something all right.  But she is saying “come here baby” for a different reason.

Eric: She’s been a lot more playful since her kittens left.  She tries to play with Mushu ALL the time.  She crouches down with her butt up in the air like she’s going to pounce on him.

Me: MmmHmm.  I haven’t heard it referred to as “pouncing” before, but we can call it that.  However, she wants to be the pounce-ee

Eric: Mushu doesn’t seem like he wants to play though.

Me: MmmHmm.  Mushu doesn’t have the balls to “play” with Mona.  Literally.

OK, my actual response was just the “MmmHmm” part…but I THOUGHT the rest.

I could have used this as a teachable moment.  But the birds and the bees, kitty style, can wait.  I will let a pounce just be a pounce for a little longer.

Here she comes now sayin’ Mona Mona.  Hey.  Hey What?  Get lai…

Oops, probably not an appropriate song right now….

Since Mushu is neutered, Mona is just going to have to sing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…”

P.S.  Get your cats (and dogs) spayed (and neutered) to reduce pet overpopulation.  And so you don’t have to hear any Moan-a, Moan-a!

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Since I’ve had to listen to a cat meow non-stop for days, can you give me a couple of votes to help me forget about my headache?  Just a click is all it takes!

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Retrieving Breakfast, Doggy Style

I slept in this morning since I am getting over being sick (shocker).  When I came downstairs after everyone had left for school, I found this on the dog bed…

Dog Bed Breakfast

Are our Labs living up to their name?  Did they really retrieve the bowl and spoon off the kitchen table and manage to drag it to the dog bed?   Cookie can already open doors and unlatch gates.  I guess I should add carrying a bowl to her list of talents.

Or perhaps my kids are tired of having oatmeal every day.  But I think they would be a little more discreet about ditching their unwanted food.  I realize the “veggies in the napkin” trick would be tough to do with oatmeal, but I still don’t think they would have been brazen enough to leave it out in broad daylight for me to find.  And I doubt they would add a cat food can lid to “throw me off their tracks.”

Either way, I now have photographic evidence that my kids don’t know how to put a dish in the dishwasher.

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See the cute little pink circle?  I hate putting it in my post.  I really do.  I have always sucked at asking for help or favors or feeling pushy.  Even just asking for something that takes a few seconds.  But, it is contests like this that increase my readership.  Circle of Moms has over 10 million subscribers so the higher I get in the ranking for their contest, the more exposure I will get!  The writing part of blogging is the fun part for me.  The promoting part is not.

The top bloggers in this contest are well-known and have exponentially more followers than I do (and most have been blogging for years).  I’m definitely the under-dog trying to hang with the Big Dogs.  The Mom&Pop shop next to the Walmart (actually I would be the Mom&Op(olize) Shop.  Read that a couple of times.  You’ll get it. LOL).  But wouldn’t it be SO COOL if EVERYONE reading this voted for me every day until the 13th and skyrocketed me up to the top 25.  And all the big wig blogs were like “Woah, who the heck is this Momopolize person and how did she get up here??”  I’ve always said I have the BEST readers.  You can now prove that to the blogging world.  Let’s show them it isn’t always quantity.  We have QUALITY readers here people.

Yeah, yeah, I know.  It probably wouldn’t be all that cool for YOU.  But could you still click the cute pink circle??  And THEN CLICK THE THUMBS UP BUTTON in the box for the “Top 25 Funny Moms 2013” contest.  I don’t want to stay on the porch.

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I don’t want to end my post pleading so watch the cutest video.  It will definitely make you laugh…

Baby fast asleep until her favorite song comes onClick on the photo or here to watch “Baby Fast Asleep Until Her Favorite Song Comes On!”  Beware though.  The song is stuck in my head now.

(I can’t post videos here – downside of free blog hosting – so it is posted on FB)

When Cats Fly

Remember our foster kitten, Bob B. McKitty?  (If not, click here for a reminder.)  I was convinced he was related to the famous Hunter S. Thomcat.  But maybe I just knew he was destined for fame.

We had Bob for 6 months – which is the longest time we’ve ever had a foster – even though he is the BEST foster ever.   Well, except when a potential adopter would come meet him.  Then he’d turn into the snootiest, least snuggly, most uncooperative cat in the world.  I won’t even mention what he did at an adoption event at a Petsmart.  His personality would change so much we could have written a kitty version of the “What About Bob?” movie about his personality disorder.

But now I know why.  He was just waiting for bigger and better things.  He recently was adopted by Greta Van Susteren’s brother in Vermont.

And just HOW did he get to Vermont, you may ask?  He flew on Greta’s PRIVATE jet, that’s how!

Only Bob would get to travel in style like that.

Photo: economist.com
Photo: economist.com

I heard it has gone to his head though…

Bob Private Jet
Photo: memegenerator.com

Yes, Bob is now living the good life.  Greta even wrote about him on her blog…

http://gretawire.foxnewsinsider.com/2013/01/20/my-brother-and-sister-in-law-just-got-this-rescue-cat-from-petconnectrescue-org-he-is-a-fabulous-cat-so-relaxed-and-gentle/

But there is ONE thing that is VERY concerning.

I received this photo…

Bob the Green Bay fan

Bob, Bob, Bob.  I feel like I don’t even KNOW you anymore!

Don’t worry Bob.  I know there is still hope for you.  A care package with the following necessities is on the way…

Photo: heartofwisdom.com
Photo: heartofwisdom.com
Cat Redskins Jersey extremeskins
Photo: extremeskins.com
Cat Redskins Collar Amazon
Photo: amazon.com
Cat Redskins Pet Tag cafepressca
Photo: cafepress.ca
Cat Redskins Toy Mouse etsy
Photo: etsy.com
Photo: etsy.com
Photo: etsy.com
Photo: Amazon.com
Photo: Amazon.com
Cat Redskins Pig Toy jcpenney
Photo: jcpenney.com

I would send the package air mail but that could wreak havoc in the universe.  You know,  if every comment ever followed by “when pigs fly” came true.

We miss you Bob!

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Santa Lost His Head. Or Was It Stolen?

One day last week, I spent the day running around like a chicken with my head cut off,  finishing last minute Christmas prep.  I must admit I was so stressed by my to-do list that what I saw when I got home made me lose my head.  And I wasn’t the only one.  I walked in to find this…

Santa destroyed

And this…

Santa peek a boo guilty dogs

I was 100% sure the guilty looking one – Brownie –  was innocent.  I’d have bet money it was Cookie that beheaded my “peek-a-boo Santa.”

I told the kids not to eat Santa’s cookies while I was gone but didn’t think I needed to tell Cookie not to eat Santa.  Lesson learned.

I attempted to prop the head back on…

Santa peekaboo

But kept finding this…

Santa headless

Even when Cookie wasn’t around.

A little research uncovered a disturbing find…SANTA HAS BEEN LOSING HIS HEAD A LOT!

Maybe Cookie really was as innocent as her expression.

I always visualized Santa as calm, cool and collected.  Not rattled by anything.  But, perhaps, he gets just as frazzled as the rest of us.  And loses his head.

Photos on Flickr* show this shocking proof…

Santa lost his head 6     Santa lost his head 1     Santa lost his head 5     Santa lost his head 7     Santa lost his head 2

Apparently he occasionally loses his pants too…

Santa lost his head 3

Sometimes he can be hot headed…

Santa hot headed

Other times he blows his top…

Santa lost his head blew his stack

So does Santa just have a short fuse like the rest of us?

Or is there a dog conspiracy to steal Santa’s head?

Santa lost his head dog 1

Photo: janebretl.com
Photo: janebretl.com

Perhaps we’ll never know for sure…

But I will remind you that Brownie and Cookie are known felons.

Does the photo of them in this post remind you of something you’ve seen before?  (If not, you need to read “To Catch A Thief…Again.”)

Santa peek a boo guilty dogsdogmugshot

<—beheaded Santa

From “To Catch A Thief…Again”—>

P.S.  You can also find videos on You Tube of Santa sans noggin.  But I wouldn’t suggest searching for “Santa Lost His Head” there.  You get some unexpected results.  Including a case of someone who decapitated a man in Santa Maria.  And a video about two turtles humping.  I don’t even want to know WHY that showed up as a match.

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*Photo credit:  All photos not taken by me that don’t have a photo credit listed as a caption can be found on flickr.com on the first page of search results for “Santa lost his head” or “hot headed Santa.”

Bloggessesque

Me: OMG!   The Bloggess just followed me on Twitter!  Not a fan page thingy.  THE Bloggess.

Jimmy: Really?? (We had a conversation about her earlier so he was genuinely slightly impressed.)

Me:  Yes, thanks to your photos with Bob.  I will pay you royalties.

Jimmy:  And out of spite, I will spend it ALL on earrings.

…Yes, there is still tension in this house.  But royalties on zero dollars is zero dollars so at least I don’t have to worry about any new earrings.

And I TOLD YOU I’m related to the Bloggess now.  So HA!

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UPDATE: Conversation after Greg and Eric heard me say the Bloggess followed me…

Greg:  So you are finally famous now?

Me:  Yes, I’m finally famous after 2 whole months of blogging.  You want my autograph?

Greg: No.

Eric:  I want your autograph.

Me:  You do?

Eric:  Yes, I need lunch money.  So can you put your autograph on a check?

It’s tough being famous…

(Insert much sarcasm here.  I don’t actually think my 12 followers constitutes being famous.  Ok, a few more than 12. But not famous.  Far from famous. Infamous maybe.).

Hunter S. Thomcat meet Bob B. McKitty

Guess what?  You know Hunter S. Thomcat, I’m sure.  He’s famous for being Jenny Lawson’s kitten.  She talks about him often on The Bloggess.  Well, I think we are fostering his long lost twin brother.  Bob B. McKitty.  I noticed a striking resemblance right away, but after reading her recent blog post I am convinced they are related.  You see, Hunter S. Thomcat is trying to kill The Bloggess.  She calls him “the silent killer, like carbon monoxide.”  You must read about it here (she even has video proof):  http://thebloggess.com/2012/10/hes-the-silent-killer-like-carbon-monoxide/#comments.

And, as you can see from the photos below…Bob is just as evil.  He is the not so silent killer, like a fart.  He has it in for Jimmy.  I really worry about Jimmy’s safety.

The two kittens MUST be related!!  They have to be!  So I’m totally related to the Bloggess now.  What?  Yes, I am.  Huh? Yes, it DOES in fact work that way.

Bob’s modus operandi…

Bob perches and waits for Jimmy to let his guard down.

Then he gives his best innocent look.

Then he goes in for the kill.

Hey, he’s trying to pull out the new piercing.  Attack away Bob.  Attack away.

I hope whoever adopts Bob is prepared for his “viciousness.”

And yes, I AM related to the Bloggess now.  So shut-up about it.