“I was lying on the grass on Sunday morning of last weekIndulging in my self-defeat”
“And of course you can’t become if you only say what you would have done
So I missed a million miles of fun”
Before I started writing a blog, I must admit I didn’t even really read blogs. I had a few I read sporadically, but for the most part blogging was foreign to me. Even though I had wanted to write one for years, I was pretty much clueless.
The past month I have started delving further into the world of blogging. I’ve been reading more and more blogs. Awesome blogs. Insightful. Thought provoking. World changing blogs. And hilarious. Laugh out loud. Pee your pants blogs.
And I’ve loved getting to know these wonderful bloggers. Incredible women (and men) that are pouring their souls out for cyberspace to see. Bloggers that can express their innermost thoughts in a way that I feel like I’ve known them forever. Or feel as though they’ve been peeking in my windows because they seem to be describing my life. Ladies that I’d love to meet in real life because I just KNOW we’d be instant friends.
BUT…there’s always a but…the more extraordinary content I read, the more extra ordinary I felt.
I let them take my sparkle away. And by “them” I mean me. (Only those of you that admit to watching the Bachelor will understand the sparkle reference. Google “Tiara” and “Bachelor” and watch any video clips that come up. She’s a trip. But I digress.). As I read, I yearned for their loyal followers gushing praise in their comments. I felt completely inferior.
I lost my confidence to write.
Every time I try to blog, the dark cloud of doubt hovers.
My life is too ordinary.
My words are too ordinary.
My ideas are too…ordinary.
See, I couldn’t even come up with words other than ordinary!
I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to write about, but I sit and stare at the “Add New Post” screen and all that goes through my mind is “my writing isn’t good enough.”
So I’ve remained wordless.
But I miss writing. Really miss it.
Tonight when I signed on to Facebook, the first thing in my news feed was this photo…
Eureka! By comparing myself to others, I was taking away something that brought me much happiness.
So I will try to get the words flowing again. Try to view the fabulous blogs out there not as competition, but as community. To not be concerned whether I’m better or worse. To embrace that we are all unique.
I will try.
I will continue to write my blog. AND I will continue to read other blogs. Because that’s what I enjoy. Will I still long for the ability to attract 10s of thousands of followers that comment endlessly and freely press the like button and share all over every social media avenue because my writing is just so inspirational or helped them feel like less of a failure or made them split their sides laughing because it contained the world’s longest run on sentence? Will I have doubts in the future when I press that publish button that people will yawn and say b-o-r-I-n-g when they read the post? You bet ‘cha.
But hopefully I will be able to stop comparing and keep the sunshine thief at bay.
Because I don’t want to miss a million miles of fun.
I may not always choose the most eloquent dialogue, or come up with a ground-breaking concept, or be changing the world (yet!).
But my blog is changing my world. And that should be enough to keep me versed and on my feet.