Tag Archives: Lying about age

Featured On the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop Website. Life. Complete.

You read that right.  I have a post featured on the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop site!

For those of you who know how much I idolize Erma, you know this is just…just…I have no words.

Click here or the photo below to see the post.  I don’t care if you read it or not (ok, yeah I do.) but just go look.  Go see MY face right next to a video of ERMA.  When you click play, she is talking to ME.

What?  It is SO possible.  Haven’t you ever seen Long Island medium??

Just go watch.  She is staring RIGHT AT ME while she talks.  You’ll see.

Erma Bombeck featured post

(I accept your apology and won’t say “I told you so.”)

I LOVE that in the video, she tells of a writing class she took and was feeling much doubt about being able to do it.  Her instructor said 3 words to her after he read her class project that stuck with her and inspired her for the rest of her career.  “You. Can. Write.”

When I first started blogging, there was a writing challenge called “Stylish Imitation.”  The whole “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” concept.  The tribute I wrote, “Bombecked: Beyond Wit’s End” tells why I admire Erma with a feeble attempt to copy her UNcopyable style by telling imperfect stories about my family (the stories ARE pretty funny, even if they don’t sound like Erma.  So you should go read it.).

Erma was the original Imperfect Mom and shared that with the world, perfectly.  And hysterically.

“If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” ~Erma Bombeck

I could quote her all day.  But then you wouldn’t go see my posts.

“If you can’t make it better, you can drink a lot.” ~Angela McKeown

P.S. A huge thank you to my blogging friend Vikki at Laugh Lines for making this possible.  I think Vikki has Erma’s spirit at the keyboard with her.  I have many, many new laugh lines from reading her posts.  Since you’ve already got your reading glasses on (and you know you do), you should go read her blog also.)

Lying about our age. Ladies, we’ve been doing it all wrong.

Remember being a kid and wanting people to think you are older than you are?

“I’m 12.  And a half.”

Don’t forget the half.

As adults, we reach a point when that changes.  Rounding up our age is no longer desirable.

So we lie. I bet my Mom has had more 29th birthdays than your mom

For years I jokingly told my kids I was 29. Mostly jokingly. Well, sort of jokingly.

One day I finally came to the realization that saying I was 29 was essentially telling
my kids that I got pregnant when I was 12.

Not exactly the morality message I want to send.

Just why DO we try to hide our true age? Why is it impolite to
ask a woman her age?  It’s not like we’ve done something wrong.

“Oh gosh. I can’t believe I aged 365 days this past year.  PLEASE don’t tell anyone!”

I mean, we don’t have a choice. Everyone single person ages a day every single day of their lives. No matter what.  So why does that suddenly become something to disguise?

And anyway, I realized I had it all wrong. Totally wrong!  Why would I want to say I’m younger than I truly am?

Since turning back time is only possible in movies, ultimately don’t we just want to look young for our (real) age?  To feel young for our age?

When I’m saying I’m 29 but am actually 39, people are just going to think,

“Dang girl!  You look like crap for 29!

Goal not accomplished.

So listen up ladies!  When you lie about your age, don’t subtract 10 years.  ADD 10!

Then people will say,

“Wow!  You look incredible for 49!  What’s your secret??”

Or better yet , just tell the truth.

I’m 44. And a half.

Don’t forget the half

How old are YOU??