Tag Archives: People of Walmart

I’m Scared of the Boogie Man. It’s Snot Funny. #Giveaway

I’m not afraid of the Boogie Man jumping out from under my bed or hiding in my closet.  My fear of the Boogie Man comes from seeing him in broad daylight, in a school classroom.

I was volunteering in the kindergarten classroom when I looked across the room to see my son (who shall remain nameless) “picking a winner,” if you know what I mean.

And that was the day I realized I was the Boogie Man’s mother.

It was also the day I gained much respect for kindergarten teachers once I noticed that over half the class was digging or scratching some body part they shouldn’t be. 

Snot’snot funny.  Oops.  Missed a space there.

But you know what is fun(ny)?  Winning a $50 gift card from Walmart!  I’ve admitted time and time and time again that I’m a Walmartian (and belong on the People of Walmart website).   You can also win a Boogie Wipes prize pack, because – let’s face it – before kidS learns what it means to blow through their noses, colds usually end up causing a tarred and feathered face when using tissues.  I’m surprised no one has marketed booger glue – when that stuff dries, it’s stronger than cement and super glue combined.

Pardon me while I go hurl.

I should probably tell a joke to get the mucus mucilage memory erased from your brain.  So…How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy What Does the Kid Say??? which is a compilation of hysterical toddler speak including sneezes referred to as “Bless Yous.”

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In celebration of Great Grape Boogie Wipes being sold at Walmart, I’m teaming up with Boogie Wipes to offer the Great Grape Summer Giveaway!  One winner will be drawn each week for eight weeks and will receive a $50 Walmart gift card and a Boogie Wipes prize pack.

How to Enter

From following some of our favorite bloggers on social media to instagramming a picture of your Great Grape purchase at Walmart, there are dozens of ways to enter – and a few ways to enter every single day.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Want to have more fun this summer?

Visit the Boogie Wipes blog for all sorts of summer fun ideas – including Sidewalk Chalk Recipes, Crafts and Games to Play with Pool Noodles and DIY Board Games (for when it rains).

Giveaway is live Tuesday, July 8, 2014 until midnight on Tuesday, September 2, 2014. US and Canada residents only. One winner will be chosen each week and will be notified via email. Momopolize received no compensation for sponsoring this event, and is not responsible for the delivery of the prize. Prize delivery is the sole responsibility of Boogie Wipes.

Can’t Make This Sh!t up

You may (not) have noticed I’ve been absent from blogging the past few months (just humor me and gush about how much you’ve missed me…).  I thought I’d give you a tiny glimpse into some of the daily shit that keeps me from writing.  Literally.

Last week we got home from an evening that had already included a concussion (Jimmy)and an injured knee (Jake).  Right after Jimmy went downstairs to bed, he called me and exclaimed that he was walking through water.  Was the bump on his head was worse than we thought?  Alas, no.  He wasn’t hallucinating.  (If he was, I suppose he would have envisioned walking ON water.)

Our hot water heater had busted and flooded our basement.

basement poolThe bad luck fairy seems to have visited our family a lot this past year.  I’ve been trying reaaaalllly hard to avoid turning into a “glass half empty” type person, so attempted to look at the bright side: (1) It was clean water, (2) most items in the storage room were off the floor because Jim had built shelves, (3) no walls or furniture were damaged and (4) we had a giant carpeted kiddie pool.

After we looked up our (way too high) homeowner’s insurance deductible, we decided to try to salvage the carpet instead of submit a claim.  We (“we” meaning Jim) pulled up the carpet, threw away the padding, sucked up the water, repeatedly steam cleaned the carpet with anti-mildew cleaner.  Then we installed new padding and put the carpet back.  Two days ago.

Fast forward to today.  I was taking my daily nap when Jimmy burst into my room to tell me water was pouring all over the storage room.  I stumbled downstairs thinking something must be wrong with the new water heater.  However, what I found appeared to be water spewing out of the OLD water heater which was still sitting in the storage room.

Even in a half asleep stupor I knew that it couldn’t be possible for an empty, unattached tank to be spraying water. Could it?  No, it couldn’t.  Upon closer inspection, I figured out that the water was pouring down through the ceiling.  It was splattering off the top of the old water heater and raining all over the room.  And then it hit me…the room directly above the storage room?  The bathroom.shitty day

I ran upstairs and water was pouring out of the toilet.  The clogged toilet.  The clogged, shit-filled toilet.  The clogged, shit-filled toilet that requires a “handle jiggle” to stop filling with water.  The clogged, shit-filled, jiggle-required toilet that had obviously been “filling” during my entire nap.  (I won’t name the little shit who admitted to the…not so little shit that clogged it.)

So much for the glass half full attitude.  This time it was NOT clean water.  And everything that was “safely” on the storage shelves had been splatted with shatted water.  Ew. Ew. Ew.

Shit just got real.  Too real.  Glass half full half empty

I don’t need to worry about my glass being half full OR half empty.  I think my glass is broken.  That’s not seven years bad luck like a mirror, is it??

At least we didn’t make a claim for the first flood.  That would have been an awkward phone call. “Hi again Mr. Insurance Man.  Remember me?  You just replaced our carpet two days ago.  Can you enter a claim of ‘ditto?'”

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Funny side story…

I was worried about the carpet having a mildew smell so wanted to check it one more time after the final cleaning (from flood #1).  I was wearing pink PJ pants with turtles on them and a purple sweatshirt.  I put on shoes – black ones that were by the front door –  so I wouldn’t get my socks wet.

Jim (seeing me putting on shoes): Where are you going?

Me: Walmart.

Jim: Oh, ok.

I guess he thought I’d fit right in.

Facebook has changed it’s policy for posts to Facebook pages, like my Momopolize page.  They are only showing posts to a small number of the page “fans” unless the page administrator (me) pays to boost the views, which this administrator (again, me) won’t be doing.  The best way to make sure you will see future blog posts is to subscribe by email (upper right corner).  I usually don’t post more than once a week (and, you know, sometimes as little as once every 3 months) so I won’t be FLOODING your inbox with a bunch of emails.  Go subscribe now so you won’t miss any of my shitty posts! 

You can also go to my Momopolize page, hover over the “liked” button and select get notifications.  Then you will see the little red number show up when I post on the page.  This will notify you of all status updates, not just blog posts.

The biggest compliment is seeing a blog post shared!  Won’t YOU share??

Weeding, People of Walmart Style

I sent Greg out back to pick up some weeds that Jim had pulled.  I peeked out to check how he was doing and THIS is what I saw…

Greg Picking Up Weeds

Never a dull moment here.  Not too many sharp ones either.

Greg IS the People of Walmart

The fact that he has his PJ pants on at three o’clock in the afternoon is the most normal part of this…

You Can Always Count On The People Of Walmart For A Laugh

I had to take a break from my NYC posts to tell you this.  It is too funny to wait.

Jim witnessed this while in the checkout line at Walmart.

Lady in front of him had purchases totaling 90 cents.  She gave the cashier a 50 cent piece, 3 quarters, a dime and 5 pennies.  Keep the denominations in mind.  That is key.

Cashier: What’s this?

Lady: It is a 50 cent piece.

Cashier (examines it with a puzzled look): Ummm…

Lady: Yeah, that’s 50.  And (counting the QUARTERS) 60, 70, 80.  And this makes 85 (adding the DIME). 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 (counting the pennies..she at least counted those correctly).

Cashier (Holding up one of the quarters):  I can’t accept this.

Lady: Why?

Cashier: It isn’t US currency.  It says it is from Indiana.

Photo: thedailyshow.com
Photo: thedailyshow.com

Jim stood for a few minutes watching in disbelief as the cashier wouldn’t accept the quarter and neither the cashier nor the lady realized the coins actually added up to $1.40.  Finally Jim couldn’t stand it any longer.  He handed the 50 cent piece and 2 quarters to the cashier and said “This is $1. Give her 10 cents back.  She can keep her Indiana money.”

The cashier wouldn’t even look at him after that.

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After viewing these photos taken an Indiana Walmart, perhaps the cashier was correct.  They DO seem to be from another world…

"How can a dime be 10 cents??? It is smaller than a nickel!"
“A dime is 10 cents??? But it’s smaller than a nickel.”
Photo: peopleofwalmart.com
Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore...
Monkeys in Walmart? Toto, we aren’t in Kansas anymore…
Photo: peopleofwalmart.com

This guy in a Georgia Walmart probably could have helped the confusion.  He even makes his bling out of money…

People Of Walmart Money Bling

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People of Walmart and Saying Goodbye To A Favorite

I didn’t have much hope for today since it was a holiday for school but not for work.  After the 477th distraction and hearing “we have nothing to eat” for the 329th time, I gave up on getting work done and went to the store to pick up a few essentials.

As I dart into Walmart in my old sweats, with no make-up, having visions of being the subject of a people of Walmart photo, I thought to myself, “I bet I see everyone I know.”  I was wrong.  I only saw half the people I know.  Never fails.  (But as long as there are people like this in the world, I think it’s safe to say my 15 minutes of fame won’t be from appearing on “People of Walmart.”)

I pick up enough food to sustain the boys for a couple of hours – well at least one hour – plus some cleaning supplies (the only positive to the kids being in trouble is the huge list of extra chores I get to make for them).  That’s all I came for so I head toward the checkout counter.

Somehow by the time I get to the front of the store, I have a cart full.  More food (4 hours worth now), more cleaning supplies (thought of more chores) and a $3 t-shirt so I wouldn’t have to do my laundry tonight.  Oh, and 2 pumpkins.  That was the most exciting thing I bought.  Until I went back for one more item…

Things were really looking up.  Until I got home and saw the “map.”  What???  Vermont Cream is GONE!!!!  No!!!!!!!!!!!  Why would they get rid of the BEST piece in the box??  Vermont Cream has been my favorite candy for as long as I can remember.  Now even my box of chocolate is having a shit day.

I notice a new addition.  Damn you “Maple Nut Butter.”  You stole my beloved Vermont Cream’s spot!  Why would they add that flavor when there is already “Maple Cream” which is just so…average.  I wanted to throw it in the trash but was curious what could possibly be good enough to take the spot of perfection.  I bit into it and…

It was DEE.  LISH.  US.  Vermont Cream, only smoother.  Buttery-er.  Yummier.  Vermont Cream, I will miss you.  We had many good years together.  But I guess sometimes you have to accept change.  And sometimes change IS good.

Make sure you check out the Raspberry Cream piece.  It came pre-smushed.  I swear it was like that when I opened the box.  Really!

Someone at the factory obviously didn’t know the “only smush the bottom” trick.

To keep me from eating the entire box, I said I’d share with the family.  But I got first choice(s) before they got to take any.

Before I let them have at the box I rearranged all the pieces so they didn’t match the map.  Yes, I wanted a bit of revenge for my shit day yesterday.

I found the perfect mug to use while eating my Vermont Cream Maple Nut Butter…I wonder if they sell them at Walmart?

Photo: zazzle.com

Good news today for you also.  Now that I got my fix, you should be safe from any other “sweet posts” for a while!

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More people of Walmart…

Nice shirt.

Flames seem to be popular attire…

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