Tag Archives: scary

The Beast of a Different Color

I originally wrote this for a Ghost Story series on Funny Life Stories.

A childhood friend had a farm that we visited frequently.  We spent hours upon hours riding horses or just running around the acres of land.

Haunted House
Photo: indiegogo.com

But there was one area we would never venture near.  At the back of the property was a house.  An old abandoned house.  THE house.  The HAUNTED house.

There were many rumors about mysterious noises heard and sights seen.  We had heard all the stories and had always steered clear.

Until the day we didn’t.

We stubbornly decided to prove our bravery by visiting the house.  We walked for what seemed like miles, getting more nervous with every step.  We crossed field after field.  Climbed fence after fence.

As the house came into view, we were each too proud to turn back.  Then we saw it.  Movement behind one of the broken windows.  We gasped.  We crept closer in an attempt to get a better look.  We saw more movement.  We climbed the fence into the final field separating us from the house.  We were so intently trying to get a better look at the shadowy figure, we didn’t notice anything else around us.

We were shocked to see more movement, but this time in the field instead of the house.  There was no doubt this time.  It was clear as day, and running right toward us.  It was huge and terrifying and we were momentarily frozen in fear and disbelief.

We snapped out of our stupor and ran as fast as we could, screaming all the way across that field in front of the haunted house, with the giant beast on our heels.  We sprinted until we reached the fence and hopped it in a quick jump.

In our quest to solve the mystery of the monster house, we had inadvertently entered the field of a different kind of monster.

Photo: animal-photos.org
Photo: animal-photos.org

A bull.

After being chased by that behemoth, the shadowy figure didn’t seem quite so scary after all.

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I pride myself on being pretty brave with spookiness at Halloween, but as I reached in this bin to grab a decoration that was under some costume capes, I was turned into a total scaredy cat!

What do you think had me so terrorized???

No, it wasn’t the monster hand below the decoration that frightened me.

It was something




much scarier.

The not-so-scaredy cat, Mushu, wasn’t startled at all.  He was just annoyed that I woke him.  That’ll teach me to make sure it is JUST black capes before I stick my hand in next time…


Filed under the “things I never thought I’d have to say” category…

“Don’t hit your brother with the cat!!!!!”

Don’t worry, it isn’t Mushu.


Mushu may not have been afraid when I reached in the bin, but I think he met his match.

Mushu was happy I used my crappy camera phone so you all can’t see the terror in his eyes.


Brownie really enjoyed this scratch behind the ears.

She just didn’t know it was going to cost an arm and a leg.

She still owes us the leg.


Speaking of the arm, it mysteriously shows up in the weirdest places in our house.  And no one ever claims responsibility for moving it.  It’s a little disturbing…

But you know what is MORE disturbing??  That my children think it is acceptable to throw their sports crap equipment all over the floor.


Notice anything unusual in this “Trunk or Treat” photo?  No, not the flying white witch.  Or the giant cockroach.  Or the freaky looking face to the left of Greg (although I don’t remember that being there when I took the photo…hmm…).  Check out Eric’s “bag” for collecting his candy.

Yes, it is an empty Chefboyardee ravioli box.  Not decorated, not disguised, not even tucked in flaps.  Just a ravioli box.


Every year we forget to carve our pumpkin.  So we are always frantically scooping out pumpkin guts as the trick-or-treaters are arriving.  This year Greg saved the day and did the pumpkin all by himself (well, with a little help from Dad on the sharp stuff) before the trick-or-treaters arrived.


For a work event, Jim had to show off his baking skills by bringing in a Halloween themed dessert. He found this fun idea that he thought seemed simple enough.  I should have warned him that anything on Martha Stewart’s website is never as easy as it looks.

Photo: marthastewart.com

He could only find regular waffle cones (not chocolate) and regular Twizzlers (not string licorice), but assembled the rest of the ingredients.  He worked into the wee hours of the morning and was pretty happy with his results.  Until he had the following conversation with Greg…

Greg: What are those supposed to be?

Jim: What do you think they are supposed to be?

Greg: Ummmm…Snowmen?

So much for the MartyStewart.com idea.


What was the most terrifying thing I saw this Halloween season, you may ask?  This teenage girl who was obviously bewitched by Jake.  Eeeeeek.


I always loved the “spot the differences” game.  Comment with the differences YOU can find!

Hint: There are 47.


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