One week from today we take off for our “Housewife Heroes” excursion to New York City, including lunch with Melissa Gorga and a session with her make-up artist.

As I made plans for the trip, it made me wonder what would happen if a Real Housewife of New Jersey (RHONJ) and a Real Housewife of Boring-town Suburbia (RHOBS, yes the “BS” was intentional) were both asked the same questions in an interview.  This is what I imagine their answers would be…

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Interviewer: Tell us about the car you drive?

RHONJ: I have a convertible and I just love the Italian Leather seats and feeling the wind blow through my hair when I put the top down.

RHOBS: I have an SUV with Italian spaghetti sauce stains on my leather seats.  Or is it ketchup?  Maybe I should pick up one of those old French fries on the floor and find out.  The wind blows my hair in my eyes but I can’t roll up the windows because the car smells like spoiled milk.  They really shouldn’t call those cups “spill-proof.”

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Interviewer: Where is your favorite place to shop?

RHONJ: The best shopping is in NYC, so I usually dash up there for a shopping spree.  I can’t say which boutique is my favorite, because of the paparazzi.

RHOBS:  Target!  You can get a new outfit, groceries, laundry detergent and kitty litter – all in one stop.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.

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Interviewer: What do you wear when having lunch with friends?

RHONJ:  I love a splash of color.  And heels and some bling are a must.

RHOBS: I wear whichever yoga pants are clean.  If I can find the matching shirt, that’s a plus.

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Interviewer: Speaking of Yoga, have you tried the new craze, Hot Yoga?

RHONJ: Oh yes, I go to a hot yoga class at my gym 3 times a week.

RHOBS: Sort of.  One time when I was doing yoga at home, the air conditioning was broken.  Does that count?

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Interviewer: When you’ve had a stressful week, how do you relax?

RHONJ: A day at the spa for an appointment with my favorite masseuse, a caviar facial and time in the jacuzzi.

RHOBS: Well, last week I decided to try the green tea mud mask that I received as a gift two years ago. The doorbell rang after I applied the mask.  When I answered the door, it was a neighborhood kid who ran away screaming something about an alien.  I started to draw a bath before the doorbell rang but forgot to put the stopper in the tub. By the time I got back to the bathroom, there was no hot water left.  And I think the mud mask was past its expiration date because my face still has a greenish hue.

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Interviewer: I was just listening to the new single “I Just Wanna.”  How do feel about the new song?

RHONJ: I love it!  The press has been hounding me since the release.

RHOBS: I love it!  When I try to sing, it makes my dog just wanna howl.

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Interviewer: What is your favorite quote?

RHONJ: “I never throw the first punch, but I’m always a knock out.”

RHOBS: “If I get knocked down, I will probably just lay there and take a nap”

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Interviewer:  How would others describe your life?

RHONJ: I live a life that most girls only dream of.

RHOBS: I live a life that most girls only have nightmares about.

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Interview: What is your favorite mixed drink?

RHONJ: Voli’s “Mango Coconut”

RHOBS: Voli’s “Mango Coco-My-Kids-Make-Me-Nuts”

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While there may be many differences between the lifestyles of The Housewives on TV and regular housewives, they all are real women, real Moms – and real housewives!  So when Melissa Gorga and I meet for lunch, hopefully we will have plenty to talk about while having a cocktail.  And maybe some “whine.”

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Have any questions you want me to ask Melissa???  Leave them in a comment and I’ll try my best to get the answers!