I declared an “official” sick day for myself, and made a big deal about needing to rest ALL day so I wouldn’t be too sick to enjoy our upcoming vacation.
Since I was going to be in bed all day anyway, I decided to multitask (because Mom’s can’t JUST lay in bed, right?) and take on a little battle of the wrinkles.
Rather than do something intelligent like an actual facial mask, I grabbed my Oil Of Olay cream off my nightstand and slathered a really thick layer all over my face.
(Theory being that if a little reduces wrinkles, a LOT would make my face as smooth as a baby’s butt. Made sense at the time…)
Apparently it was thick enough under my eyes that every time I would blink, a miniscule bit would attach to my bottom eyelashes. Each blink added a bit more until it was enough to attach itself to my upper lashes and work it’s way down into my eyes.
There was instant burning and tears streaming down my face, mixing with yesterday’s leftover mascara.
Cue Greg’s entry into my room.
He wanted to make sure I was feeling ok. (All together now…Awwwwwww, how sweet!)
He took one look at me groaning about the stinging while black tears ran across my ghostly white face and yelled “MOM! What’s wrong with you???? Are you ok??????????”
All I could do is laugh, while he looked on in horror.
I thought I just looked like this…
But judging from his reaction, I must have looked more like this…
Move over Jill Smokler. There’s a NEW Scary Mommy in town.
P.S. My crow’s feet are just crow’s toes now.
P.P.S. At least the day of rest made me FEEL like less of a zombie.
P.P.P.S. Want to make yourself into a Zombie? There’s an app for that. (Just ask any teenager how.)
P.P.P.P.S A decision I made that was much more logical than putting an inch of lotion on my face was asking my fantastic blogger friends to participate in “Guest Post Week.” They responded in droves to help me out! I’m so excited to be introducing you to posts written by some of these lovely ladies during the next week.
But no *actual* pics? 😉 Gonna have to go and find out about the scary mommy now 🙂
What is it with you and the photos?? LOL You got called out for it on Christine’s post earlier. 😀 I thought about it…and my teenager tried to talk me into taking a “selfie” for the zombie photo but I didn’t want EVERYONE to have nightmares.
So if i ever adopt a skin regimen i should include eye goggles?? 😉
Years ago when i used to do facial masks (2 kids ago) i would put the lotion on its skin and my husband would say “Aaahhh Ghost Wife boooo” yeah good times.
Oh no, note to self don’t do this 🙂
Domesticated Breakdown
That would have been scary for Greg but it’s given me an idea about how to get some sympathy or at least fake a sick day 🙂
Oh my! You have to read the labels on those things!
This is hilarious! When my kids were little, they used to fight over who got to pull off my peel mask. I love the zombie app, too!
Oh you poor thing! Sick and this too! I remember once my hubby got me a spa gift card. It was the first time and last I ever got a facial. they put these towels on my face that were so hot I was sure they were just burning all the wrinkles off!
Well, did it work? I mean, I can take some suffering if it makes my skin look good…even if it burns my corneas.
I’m fighting crows feet and laugh lines, but they are formidable opponents.
I’ll say it worked. Everything is a little blurry from the crème getting in my eyes…so I can’t SEE the wrinkles as well. hehehe
Before I surrender my crown, I really do need to see a picture. I look downright frightening when I forget to take off my eye makeup!!
Would a re-enactment with a stunt double be sufficient?? 😉
It amuses me how differently the sexes view the word “facial”…men are just pervs. BTW, you shouldn’t be scaring your children like that…at least not without a video camera in the room recording it.
I love child body commentary. Like the time my son pointed to my rear-end and announced, “Mom, your butt is CRAZY.”
I’m pretty confident I have done this! Swinging by from Tattler Thursday!!!
What a fabulous zombie you turned out to be! HA HA! I can’t just lay in bed unless I am really, really sick. I tend to multitask too, but not usually something that’s good for me!
Thanks for sharing with us at the Humor Me Blog Hop!
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