Thanksgiving is a day of giving thanks, but it can also be a day of giving stress. The grocery shopping, the cleaning, the annoying Uncle, the complicated pie recipes (see, I told you to use my recipe!!)
I did actually bake a cheesecake and cupcakes, to distract from the store-bought pies. I will post photos at some point…just to prove I am capable of baking SOMETHING, just not pies.
To make this an “official” Thanksgiving post: I am thankful to have so many things to be thankful for that I don’t have time to write them all. And you are too busy today to read them all anyway.
But you’re not too busy to look at pictures. When the day starts giving you more stress than thanks, I hope these pictures will make you smile.
I am thankful for my readers that vote for me for silly contests. Just a couple of quick clicks, but it means a lot. Because apparently I like to try to win things…
OMGosh you guys! I think I must be a viral sensation. I went to Costco today and like almost EVERY cart had used my pie recipe. (If you missed my pie recipe yesterday, click here.) I couldn’t believe it. That means they ALL read my blog and ran right out to try what I suggested, right? I am so excited! I mean, if that many people from just MY Costo read my blog, then just think how many read it across the country!!!
Some people even made their own adjustments to the recipe, substituting Pumpkin or Pecans for the Apples. Pure genius. I always suspected my readers are brilliant.
I think I even heard a few singing the following song…
Hey, Bloggy Lady. Op, Op, Op, Oppan Costco Style.
Hey, Bloggy Lady. Op, Op, Op Oppan Costco Style.
Look out Gangnam Style, I think Costco Style is the next big thing. My pie-in-the-sky is within reach.
Now I just need some cool dance moves. “Bake the Cake” anyone?
Confession time: I have never made a pie. Ever. The thought intimidates me. I mean, check out the recipe at the bottom of this post! It’s not a recipe, it’s a short novel. (I put the recipe at the bottom because it is so long, I knew no one would read that far so anything I wrote after the recipe would be pointless.)
Where the heck did the term “easy as pie” come from anyway? The recipe below says the time to make it is 2 hours and it serves 10-12. They have it backwards. It would take me 10-12 hours to make and, in my house, would serve 2. If I’m lucky.
I like my recipe better.
Put It On The Table Apple Pie Recipe
Difficulty Level: Easy as Pie Really Easy
Time: 2 hours
Yield: 10-12 boys with enormous appetites
Ingredients:
Costco membership card
Car
$15 cash. Note: Substituting credit instead of cash not recommended. Debit substitution will yield better results, but cash is best.
Directions:
Drive to nearest Costco.
Display your membership card, along with a big smile.
Visit all sample tables. This is the most time consuming step and should be eliminated if you substituted credit.
Choose apple pie with the least perfect latice crust on top (for believability).
Remove plastic covering and price tag.
Sprinkle face with flour.
Add half-baked excuses when asked for recipe.
We are on dessert duty for Thanksgiving dinner with Jim’s family. I’d like to be adventuresome and try my hand at pie making (NOT the one below though). However, I’m pretty sure I will stick to my tried-and-true recipe above. I have a similar recipe for “Put It On The Table Sheet Cake.” But I may actually bake one of those because, in comparison to the pie recipe instruction manual, making a cake will be a piece of ca…oh, nevermind.
Unfortunately there wasn’t a workable date to transform the event into “Snacksgiving” (I thought that was a little less offensive than calling it “Thanksgivoweenie.”).
I did, however, have a meeting yesterday and am happy to report it will be held in conjunction with a distribution of shoe box filled gifts for Christmas.
It will most likely be held strictly indoors (because I don’t want Mother Nature flubbing things up again!) with some festive decorations and games with the food as “prizes.” There is a possibility of still trying to incorporate the trunk-or-treat concept. “Christmas Tree Trunk-or-treat” perhaps.
I’m anxious for this to happen (and to get all the food out of my living room), but for now I suppose I will just have to Ho-Ho-Hold my horses.
And my daily PITA reminder: VOTE, VOTE, VOTE. Yes, I realize the presidential election is over. But another important vote is needed. To help me win a trip to NYC and some schmoozing and boozing and make-over with Melissa Gorga. Click on the link below, go to the second page of stories and vote for Angela M.
Most of my writing is about my kids, yet I don’t have time to write because of my kids.
Since I have 4 kids, I didn’t call this post a catch-22. Catch-44 seemed, well, catchier.
I missed my shot with “My Life Is A Sitcom” because I swear the writers from some current sitcoms are peeping in my windows for their ideas. I just wish I could consistently write my own “sitcom” more often. I really do enjoy writing my blog and I know consistency is best for my readers. But time restraints keep getting in the way.
Honestly though, time isn’t my only hindrance. I’ve become quite obsessed with wanting to know how many people are actually reading my blog. Very obsessed, actually. Pathetic, I know. It is causing a mental block that is making me write less.
To get more people to read, I need to write more, yet I can’t write more because of wondering how many people are reading.
Another catch-22. Or catch-55.
But that will have to be another blog topic. I don’t have time right now. 😉
I pride myself on being pretty brave with spookiness at Halloween, but as I reached in this bin to grab a decoration that was under some costume capes, I was turned into a total scaredy cat!
What do you think had me so terrorized???
No, it wasn’t the monster hand below the decoration that frightened me.
It was something
much,
much,
much,
much scarier.
The not-so-scaredy cat, Mushu, wasn’t startled at all. He was just annoyed that I woke him. That’ll teach me to make sure it is JUST black capes before I stick my hand in next time…
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Filed under the “things I never thought I’d have to say” category…
“Don’t hit your brother with the cat!!!!!”
Don’t worry, it isn’t Mushu.
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Mushu may not have been afraid when I reached in the bin, but I think he met his match.
Mushu was happy I used my crappy camera phone so you all can’t see the terror in his eyes.
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Brownie really enjoyed this scratch behind the ears.
She just didn’t know it was going to cost an arm and a leg.
She still owes us the leg.
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Speaking of the arm, it mysteriously shows up in the weirdest places in our house. And no one ever claims responsibility for moving it. It’s a little disturbing…
But you know what is MORE disturbing?? That my children think it is acceptable to throw their sports crap equipment all over the floor.
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Notice anything unusual in this “Trunk or Treat” photo? No, not the flying white witch. Or the giant cockroach. Or the freaky looking face to the left of Greg (although I don’t remember that being there when I took the photo…hmm…). Check out Eric’s “bag” for collecting his candy.
Yes, it is an empty Chefboyardee ravioli box. Not decorated, not disguised, not even tucked in flaps. Just a ravioli box.
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Every year we forget to carve our pumpkin. So we are always frantically scooping out pumpkin guts as the trick-or-treaters are arriving. This year Greg saved the day and did the pumpkin all by himself (well, with a little help from Dad on the sharp stuff) before the trick-or-treaters arrived.
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For a work event, Jim had to show off his baking skills by bringing in a Halloween themed dessert. He found this fun idea that he thought seemed simple enough. I should have warned him that anything on Martha Stewart’s website is never as easy as it looks.
Photo: marthastewart.com
He could only find regular waffle cones (not chocolate) and regular Twizzlers (not string licorice), but assembled the rest of the ingredients. He worked into the wee hours of the morning and was pretty happy with his results. Until he had the following conversation with Greg…
Greg: What are those supposed to be?
Jim: What do you think they are supposed to be?
Greg: Ummmm…Snowmen?
So much for the MartyStewart.com idea.
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What was the most terrifying thing I saw this Halloween season, you may ask? This teenage girl who was obviously bewitched by Jake. Eeeeeek.
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I always loved the “spot the differences” game. Comment with the differences YOU can find!
Hint: There are 47.
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“Trick Or Treat, Give Me Something Good To Eat” was supposed to happen today. But Sandy happened instead. She shut down everything here for the past two days. Frankenstorm apparently wanted something BAD to eat.
The lyrics to that song end “…if you don’t, I don’t care. I’ll pull down your underwear.” I realize I didn’t give something good to eat. Yet. But I do care. So please don’t pull down my underwear. I vote for pantsing Sandy instead.
The song has another verse that ends “…not too big, not too small. Just the size of Montreal.” The piles of food in my living room are pretty much the size of Montreal! The generous donations and words of encouragement I received have been nothing short of incredible. I just love living in a community that is so wonderfully caring of those less fortunate! I have Mount Royal right in my living room (That’s a mountain in Montreal. I Googled it…don’t overestimate my knowledge of geography.).
Notice the guard cat, Mushu. I gave strict orders to keep all kids away from the donations. He and Bob B. McKitty take shifts and both look pretty ferocious with their glowing eyes.
In case anyone makes it past the cats, there is back-up security. The hand has a motion sensor that triggers the fingers to wiggle. It is jointed just like a real hand so it actually looks like it is trying to grab you. Ain’t nobody goin’ near the food with that freaky thing around!
I must admit I’m bummed about coming up with Plan BPlan C Plan D for this event. I’m not looking forward to figuring out how to incorporate a “trick or treat” idea into a post-Halloween event. It may not be possible to reschedule immediately, so it may be closer to Thanksgiving than Halloween by the time it is held. Leave it to me to schedule an outdoor, community-wide event on the same day as the storm of the century.
I thought of referring to it Thanksgivoween, but my kids kept re-phrasing that to Thanksgivoweenie. But hey, maybe I could serve turkey hot dogs and just run with that idea!
I guess I’ll just follow the lead of retail stores and overlap holidays.
Photo: www.toilette-humor.com
It blows when things don’t work out as planned, but as long as you remember what is important, you can always weather the storm. The treats WILL get to the children that need them, regardless of whether they are wearing costumes and saying “trick-or-treat” or if they are wearing turkey feathers and saying “I want to gobble up some treats!” How they get the food isn’t what is important. THAT they get the food is.
But I’m still mad at Sandy. ________________________________________________
Many prayers go out to everyone that had much more than a trick-or-treat event ruined by Sandy. Way too many people were not fortunate enough to avoid the havoc she wreaked.
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(I promise to try to start using the real camera instead of my crappy quality cell phone. Try being the key word.)
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Random ramblings from my weekend trip to Greensboro for a wrestling tournament with Jimmy.
ROAD-SIDE SIGHTINGS:
A dude cutting the antlers off a dead deer on the median.“Look at the rack on that deer!! Isn’t it awesome?? No, it wasn’t shot, it was hit by a car. No, it wasn’t MY car. But I saw it. And I sawed it.” Does it really bring pride to mount that on your wall?
Another dude riding his bicycle with no handle bars in the middle of the left lane of a busy 4 lane highway.
3 dudes riding horses, also on a 4 lane highway. Better watch out for the guy with the saw. He may go after anything on the side of the road…
2 full moons, neither was actually in the sky. First was a little boy going number 1 at the edge of the woods. Other was from a horse trailer. As we followed, I worried the horse would do what the little boy was doing. But number 2.
2 horse’s asses, neither was actually a horse. Some people take high school sports tournaments to the extreme. They were more full of crap than the horse in the trailer.
3 fushia tow trucks. Yes, 3. The first 2 could potentially have been the same truck that just got behind us twice but the 3rd one was a couple of hours later. Didn’t realize fushia is such a popular color choice in the towing industry.
NEAR MISSES:
Car almost ran us off the road. Billy Joel’s “Only The Good Die Young” was playing on the radio.
Car almost pulled out in front of us. Pat Benetar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” was playing.
RESTAURANTS DINED (not a low-cal weekend):
Fatz restaurant which served Ozzie Rolls that were similar to Sweetwater’s (my fav restaurant) that came with CINNAMON butter. Cinnamon! Dessert before dinner anyone??
Ham’s restaurant, including a Skillet Cookie. We did at least eat this after our entrée.
Ham’s impressively had TVs for viewing in every spot of the restaurant. Every spot. Including the bathroom. A TV in the mirror. How cool is that?
MOODY BLUES (what makes a teen angry):
Starving him. One restaurant had an hour wait list. Jimmy wanted to go pick up Burger King while we waited. I had the gall to say no.
Roasting him. The thermostat in the hotel room was a point of contention. Jimmy’s room at home is in our basement which is freezing year round, regardless of the temperature in the rest of the house. After I got in bed, I thought he was joking that he set it to 54 degrees. He wasn’t. I woke with icicles on my eyelashes.
Insulting him. When trying to console him after a loss, I thought it would be comforting to remind him that the competition at this tournament was the “best of the best” but to teen ears, that meant I was telling him he sucked.
Waking him. He was snoring like a chainsaw so I kept throwing pillows at him. Luckily each bed had 4 pillows so I had lots of ammunition. One landed on his face. The snoring stopped. I thought I had suffocated him. (Yes, I did get up to take it off his face and make sure he was still breathing.)
WHAT HURTS THE MOST:
Jimmy spent most of the wrestling season last year inured with a torn shoulder and then a broken hand. In the back of my mind, I’m worried about him being out injured again. This tournament was one of the toughest in the country so, while I was excited for Jimmy to see what that level of competition is like, I was concerned about him getting injured before the season even starts this year. My fears kept growing as we saw the following signs every 1/2 mile for most of the car ride…
As we got close to the tournament, we saw this exit sign. When I see something unusual in life, I always think it is a “sign” and has a deeper meaning. I thought this was both literally and figuratively one of those “signs.” Especially since the tournament was held at a coliseum ON Rt. 29.
At the tournament, the medical staff had a freakin’ x-ray machine there. Jimmy said “You know it’s a serious tournament when they need their own x-ray machine.” I said you know it’s a bad omen when they need their own x-ray machine. After all of the “hurt” signs, I was convinced we were doomed to a trip to the ER.
Luckily I was wrong about the impending injury. At the end of the day, the only thing injured was his pride when he didn’t place at the tournament.
NOT-SO-INTERESTING FACT:
The 5+ hour (one way) trip was all on Rt. 29, except for about 15 minutes. It only required making 4 turns, including the road into my neighborhood. But I still entered it into the GPS for directions.
CHEERY CHERRY:
It was mostly a cheerful weekend. I mean how can it be a BAD weekend when you eat at Fatz and Ham’s? Oink, oink.
We even got to have a good laugh every time we took a ride on the elevator. Check out the elevator inspection certificate. Best name ever. Commissioner Cherie Berry! Would have made a good Batman character name. Sure, she may pronounce it Sherie but she will always be Cherry Berry to me. And who knew there was an “elevator bureau?” And it has a chief. Too bad Cherie isn’t the chief. Chief Cherie Berry. Now THAT would be the best name ever.
Seriously, it was nice to have one-on-one time with my teenager, especially since those moments seem to be numbered as he approaches adulthood. Spending a weekend alone with Jimmy made me realize my kids would be wonderful “only children.” They can apparently be very pleasant when they don’t have anyone to argue with. 😉 Except at a only-half-awake-don’t-talk-to-me 6am breakfast… Looks like he needs some coffee in that cup instead of juice.
And there are some other “perks” to road trips. It’s a good excuse to relax after sitting in uncomfortable bleachers for 12 hours. And Jim thinks I was being “nice” by offering to drive to NC. “Ah, yes, I’m a saint. I will drive one to NC while you stay home and take care of the other 3, the pets and the house. I’m just that nice.”
Maybe next time I’ll look for a hotel with a TV in the mirror and watch the tournament on TV from the jacuzzi. And register as Cherie Berry. Now THAT would be a trip. Calgon, take me away…
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See that share button down there? It would make Cherie cheery if you press it. 🙂
Jimmy: (while listening to Pandora) “Yes! I’m going to thumbs up the crap out of this song. Wait, that sounded really wrong.”
(For those of you not familiar with Pandora, you listen to songs and can indicate if you like it or not by clicking on a button with a thumb pointing up or a thumb pointing down. A song came on that Jimmy REALLY likes.)
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Jim (texting me that he picked up a pumpkin flavored bakery treat): I got you a muffin top, pumpkin.
Me: I’ve had a muffin top for years that I can’t get rid of. And don’t call me pumpkin.
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Not really a McQNism, but a voice mail message I received from Jake: “Um, hi Mom. Um, I got in trouble in Art class for, um, twisting a guy’s nipple and I have detention Monday for it.” I heard him cover a giggle with a cough while he was leaving the message. Probably with the dean standing right next to him. At least he didn’t call it a purple nurple in front of the dean. When he got home and I tried to discuss it with him, it was obvious we were both holding back laughter. Bad parent. But I mean, how do you discuss a purple nurple without laughing?? I wonder if the dean was secretly chuckling also…
Don't ask me about my kids or I will Momopolize the conversation!
