I realize it is January, but amidst all the posts about resolutions being broken, I thought you all could use a little more Christmas cheer!
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Jimmy (in a Grinch-ish mood): I hate the wreath on the front door. All it does is get in my way. I hate real trees too. I think I’m allergic.
Eric: Did you just say you hate grilled trees???
Jimmy: Yes, I said I hate GRILLED trees. I prefer my trees lightly broiled.
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While playing a little Christmas trivia with Jake…
Me: “Fill in the blank for the Grinch lyric. You’re a bad _____ with a greasy black peel.”
Jake: “Ummm…give me a hint.”
Me: “They always show people slipping on it in cartoons.”
Jake: “Ummm…give me another hint.”
Me: “It is something monkeys eat.”
Jake: “FECES!”
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Jake was wearing a new shirt and realized he hadn’t taken the size sticker off.
Eric was in an extra chatty mood during a car ride and his noise level was annoying his brothers.
Jake: “Eric needs this XL sticker for his mouth!”
I’m not sure if Jake meant because Eric was being Extra Loud or if he wanted to actually use the sticker to cover Eric’s mouth.
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After making at least 4 shopping trips to Dick’s sporting goods during the holiday season, we realized we still needed to buy a gift card from there for our nephew. Of course, it is at the mall. The dreaded mall. There wasn’t a parking space in sight so Jim decided to pull up in front of the store and run in while the rest of us waited in the car.
Thirty seconds later I see flashing lights behind our car. Busted by mall security. I instinctively grabbed for my license as he approached the window, but stopped myself. Before he could even say a word, I blurted out “I’m sorry sir. We are just waiting for my husband to come out with our merchandise so we can load it into the car.”
Yes, I blatantly and remorselessly lied in front of my children. Well, technically I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him what our “merchandise” was. But I just KNOW the mall cop watched Jim walk out with nothing but a tiny little card and hop in the car.
When we arrived at my in-laws, Jake announces “Mom, tell everyone how you got pulled over on the way here!”
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Jimmy’s #1 item on his Christmas list was a game called “Far Cry.” Jake used an old game case and Google images to make this…
Jimmy didn’t realize it was a prank until he opened it and saw this…
(He DID get the actual game later.)
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We don’t put any wrapped gifts under the tree until after the kids go to bed Christmas Eve. Initially, the reason was to keep curious toddlers from tearing off the pretty shiny paper before Christmas. Now that they are old enough to know better (in theory), we still don’t put them out until Christmas Eve so the nosey dogs and cats don’t mess them up.
Actually, we don’t put them out until then because I am always up wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Eve/Morn, but the dog and cat excuse makes me sound less disorganized.
When it is time, I arrange the presents in a beautiful, colorful display under the real (grilled) tree in our family room. We also have a fake tree in our (never lived in) living room. This year, when the boys came downstairs Christmas morning, I told them we had decided to put he gifts under the fake tree for a change. They walked in the living room to find only this…
They weren’t amused. Well, Greg was. Until he realized it wasn’t even real coal in the bag. Getting coal for Christmas is one thing. Getting PLASTIC coal is just downright insulting.
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During Christmas break, my blog (lovingly, of course) became the butt of all jokes. No matter what happened, the response would be “I’m TOTALLY going to blog about that.”
Jimmy enjoyed poking fun at my blog so much, he said he is going to start his own…
MOCKOPOLIZE!
