Confession time:  I have never made a pie.  Ever.  The thought intimidates me.  I mean, check out the recipe at the bottom of this post!  It’s not a recipe, it’s a short novel.  (I put the recipe at the bottom because it is so long, I knew no one would read that far so anything I wrote after the recipe would be pointless.)

Where the heck did the term “easy as pie” come from anyway?  The recipe below says the time to make it is 2 hours and it serves 10-12.  They have it backwards.  It would take me 10-12 hours to make and, in my house, would serve 2.  If I’m lucky.

I like my recipe better.

Put It On The Table Apple Pie Recipe

Difficulty Level:  Easy as Pie Really Easy

Time: 2 hours

Yield: 10-12 boys with enormous appetites

Ingredients:

• Costco membership card
• Car
• $15 cash.  Note:  Substituting credit instead of cash not recommended.  Debit substitution will yield better results, but cash is best.

Directions:

1. Drive to nearest Costco.
2. Display your membership card, along with a big smile.
3. Visit all sample tables.  This is the most time consuming step and should be eliminated if you substituted credit.
4. Choose apple pie with the least perfect latice crust on top (for believability).
5. Remove plastic covering and price tag.
6. Sprinkle face with flour.
7. Add half-baked excuses when asked for recipe.

We are on dessert duty for Thanksgiving dinner with Jim’s family.  I’d like to be adventuresome and try my hand at pie making (NOT the one below though).  However, I’m pretty sure I will stick to my tried-and-true recipe above.  I have a similar recipe for “Put It On The Table Sheet Cake.”  But I may actually bake one of those because, in comparison to the pie recipe instruction manual, making a cake will be a piece of ca…oh, nevermind.

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