It isn’t often that a broken bone is funny. Unless, of course, the bone has a funny name. And the patient is a 13-year-old boy.
Jake literally got knocked on his butt last night during his football game and was still in a lot of pain this morning, so off to the urgent care center we went. Had to stop myself when asked the reason for the visit. “Jake is a pain in the…uh…I mean Jake HAS a pain in the butt.”
Jake’s reaction to showing the female nurse “where it hurt” was enough to get me in a giggly mood. The blushing cheeks and the one word please-let-this-be-over answers showed that the nurse’s questions were much more painful than the injury.
Once she left the room, Jake announced that he needed to fart (boys feel the need to proclaim that hourly). The conversation went something like… “Don’t you dare!” “But I have to.” “No, this is a tiny room and the doctor will be in any second.” “I can’t hold it.” “Don’t do it! The doctor may think it was me!!”
When the doctor came in, the first thing he said was “Yes, you can smell it in the air…” I glared at Jake as if to say TELL ME YOU DIDN’T DO IT!!! Fortunately, the doctor continued his statement “Yes, you can smell it in the air. Football season and the injuries it brings.” Whew. I had to cover my face to hide the chuckling over what I thought the statement was referencing. I’m not sure what the doctor said for the next 5 minutes, because I was using all of my focus trying to maintain my composure.
For some reason, hearing someone say buttocks is hysterical to boys. Every time it was mentioned, Jake would smirk and glance at me. “Did you get hit in the buttocks or did you fall on your buttocks?” Snicker. Snicker. “Does your right buttock hurt more than your left buttock?” Snicker. Snicker. And so on… I was trying to do anything to prevent an outburst of laughter. Bit my lip. Fake coughed. Thought of the ending of Toy Story 3. That worked. The doctor probably thought I was overreacting a bit to be tearing up about the injury but at least I wasn’t going to be known as the Mom who laughed at her child’s broken bone.
By the time the doctor began talking about the crushed coccyx bone, I could barely contain myself. “The bones in your spine curve in at your lower back and then once it gets below the sacrum, it curves back out. The bone that sticks out at the bottom is the coccyx.” A bone called the coccyx sticking out below the sacrum…well, I’m sure you can picture the expression on Jake’s face. The word buttocks is funny to a teen boy; the word coccyx is hilarious. Add in the word sacrum, and it’s too much to handle. I couldn’t even look Jake in the eye because I knew if I did, I would be rolling on the floor.
If there is going to be a bone referred to as the “funny bone,” I think the coccyx bone would be a better choice than the elbow. But then again, the skin covering the elbow is sometimes referred to as the wenus so, yeah, I guess that is funnier. Hey docs, who named these body parts anyway??
Now before I get slammed for being unsympathetic, I do feel very bad for Jake. I know first-hand that it is very painful because I broke my tailbone falling down some stairs once. Perhaps a problem of weak cheeks runs in the family? Our family just tends to find humor in strange places. Just imagine if he broke his humerus bone…
If laughter is the best medicine, Jake should heal very quickly. I surely hope this injury doesn’t cause Jake to be the butt of any jokes.
LOL, Angela! Or should I call you Weak Cheeks? Hope Jake gets better soon. What a pain in the butt.
Weak Cheeks IS pretty catchy for a nickname. Considering Jake spent much more time this evening with the “donut” pillow on top of his head than under his butt, I think he’ll be just fine.
So funny!
Thanks Susan! There’s no such thing as a “simple trip to the doctor” in this house!
Hahaha!!! Oh, I would have DIED! One of my favorite phrases is “No need to get butt-hurt.” I would be saying it non-stop to that poor kiddo!
Thanks for linking up to the Glitter Fart hop!
OMG that was hilarious! I have no idea how you didn’t laugh – but it reminded me of all the times my sister and I would look each other in the eye at church and about explode with laughter for no reason. We got SO many evil glares from my mom for that.
Angela, I about DIED when I read that the doctor said that when he came through the door! Thank goodness he was headed in a different direction! And I completely agree with you — the anatomy docs musta been tippling the brandy quite a bit when they came up with “coccyx” and “weenus!”