status quo (kw) n. The existing condition or state of affairs.
The existing condition of my state of affairs this month has been mostly suckishly sickish (Spell check, please stop underlining suckishly. It is so a word.). Lots of illness, time in bed and foggy headed days.
This current status quo also makes for a suckishly empty blog. Hard to spend much time writing posts when you are sleeping or can’t keep a clear thought in your head!
BUT, the good news is that even when I can’t coherently put a paragraph together, I can still manage to post FACEBOOK STATUSES!
So JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK to get tidbits of funny when my Blog Quo is a no go.
Click HERE, “like” the page and then hover over the like button and click on “get notifications.”
(You could also join me on Twitter or Pinterest but Facebook is my social media “home.” I haven’t ventured out of my Facebook comfort zone much. In fact, I don’t even know the link to send you to my Pinterest page!)
Also, thanks to everyone that has still been voting for me on the “Best Mom Blogs” and “Top Mommy Blogs.” Was surprised to see I still have the #1 spot on Best Mom even though I haven’t been begging for votes posting often! You all rock! (The banners to click on are on the right side bar)
I feel the fog lifting…so hopefully a new post will soon emerge…
I almost had to explain a different meaning to “in the heat”of the moment.
Our current foster cat, Mona, was rescued with her 2 kittens, who were adopted a couple of weeks ago. When a Momma cat realizes her kittens are “missing,” she frantically searches and howls for them for a few days. It is sad. They move on though.
But Mona started howling again.
Because she is in heat.
Moan-a is a good name for her right now.
Her actions prompted this conversation:
Hey good lookin’. Buy me a glass of milk?
Eric: Poor Mona. She is still meowing and looking for her babies.
Me: MmmHmm. She is looking for something all right. But she is saying “come here baby” for a different reason.
Eric: She’s been a lot more playful since her kittens left. She tries to play with Mushu ALL the time. She crouches down with her butt up in the air like she’s going to pounce on him.
Me: MmmHmm. I haven’t heard it referred to as “pouncing” before, but we can call it that. However, she wants to be the pounce-ee.
Eric: Mushu doesn’t seem like he wants to play though.
Me: MmmHmm. Mushu doesn’t have the balls to “play” with Mona. Literally.
OK, my actual response was just the “MmmHmm” part…but I THOUGHT the rest.
I could have used this as a teachable moment. But the birds and the bees, kitty style, can wait. I will let a pounce just be a pounce for a little longer.
Here she comes now sayin’ Mona Mona. Hey. Hey What? Get lai…
Oops, probably not an appropriate song right now….
Since Mushu is neutered, Mona is just going to have to sing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…”
P.S. Get your cats (and dogs) spayed (and neutered) to reduce pet overpopulation. And so you don’t have to hear any Moan-a, Moan-a!
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Since I’ve had to listen to a cat meow non-stop for days, can you give me a couple of votes to help me forget about my headache? Just a click is all it takes!
Just click on the banner to vote.Then click on this banner!
Jake told me my 100th post needed to be something special. You get this instead.
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Me (without looking away from my computer): I saw that.
Jake: What?
Me: You better apologize before I get to 3.
Jake: For what?
Me: 1. 2.
Jake: I didn’t moon them!
Me: I never said moon.
Jake: Hu…? Dang it. You’re good.
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In the “should never have to come out of my mouth” category…
“Don’t stand on the chair and fart in your brother’s face.”
Not to the 8 year old. Or the 10 year old. Or even the 13 year old. Yes, I did indeed need to say those words to the 16 year old.
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Jimmy blew a straw wrapper at Eric and hit him right between the eyes.
Me: Good shot.
Jimmy: I’ve had lots of practice sniping.
Me: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
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During a conversation about past restaurant jobs…
Me: In high school, I was a cook and a busgirl but not a waitress.
Greg to Jim: Were you ever a waitress?
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100th post AND 6 months since I started Momopolize. And you get farts and butts. And the image of Jim in a waitress uniform.
I slept in this morning since I am getting over being sick (shocker). When I came downstairs after everyone had left for school, I found this on the dog bed…
Are our Labs living up to their name? Did they really retrieve the bowl and spoon off the kitchen table and manage to drag it to the dog bed? Cookie can already open doors and unlatch gates. I guess I should add carrying a bowl to her list of talents.
Or perhaps my kids are tired of having oatmeal every day. But I think they would be a little more discreet about ditching their unwanted food. I realize the “veggies in the napkin” trick would be tough to do with oatmeal, but I still don’t think they would have been brazen enough to leave it out in broad daylight for me to find. And I doubt they would add a cat food can lid to “throw me off their tracks.”
Either way, I now have photographic evidence that my kids don’t know how to put a dish in the dishwasher.
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See the cute little pink circle? I hate putting it in my post. I really do. I have always sucked at asking for help or favors or feeling pushy. Even just asking for something that takes a few seconds. But, it is contests like this that increase my readership. Circle of Moms has over 10 million subscribers so the higher I get in the ranking for their contest, the more exposure I will get! The writing part of blogging is the fun part for me. The promoting part is not.
The top bloggers in this contest are well-known and have exponentially more followers than I do (and most have been blogging for years). I’m definitely the under-dog trying to hang with the Big Dogs. The Mom&Pop shop next to the Walmart (actually I would be the Mom&Op(olize) Shop. Read that a couple of times. You’ll get it. LOL). But wouldn’t it be SO COOL if EVERYONE reading this voted for me every day until the 13th and skyrocketed me up to the top 25. And all the big wig blogs were like “Woah, who the heck is this Momopolize person and how did she get up here??” I’ve always said I have the BEST readers. You can now prove that to the blogging world. Let’s show them it isn’t always quantity. We have QUALITY readers here people.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It probably wouldn’t be all that cool for YOU. But could you still click the cute pink circle?? And THEN CLICK THE THUMBS UP BUTTON in the box for the “Top 25 Funny Moms 2013” contest. I don’t want to stay on the porch.
I don’t want to end my post pleading so watch the cutest video. It will definitely make you laugh…
Jimmy had to be at school very early yesterday morning to go with his wrestling team to a tournament. The following half asleep text conversation happened since I was too lazy to get out of bed…
Me: U back fron dripping Jimmy at school?
Jim: Yes but I have to go back and drip a Gatorade off that he forgot.
Me: That’s nice f u.
Jim: F u 2.
Me: *Of. 😛
A few minutes later….
Me: Hey drippy, did u get the Gatorade 2 him b4 the bus left.?
Jim: Yes. 😛
Me: Good fork u.
And so our day began…
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Speaking of the tournament…it went well until Jimmy’s nose battled his opponent’s head. The nose lost. It is broken, which means he will have to wear a special mask to protect it when he wrestles next weekend.
The mask may look like this…
Photo: shopping.com
But it could look like this…
Photo: kellysports.com
Personally, I vote for something like THIS, to really freak his opponent out…
Photo: thirdage.com
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Last night Jimmy texted me at 11:30.
Jimmy: Can you come pick me up?
He was home. In his bed.
I ran to his room convinced that we hadn’t realized he got a concussion when he broke his nose. I made him talk to me for a while and answer all kinds of questions.
He was fine. He sent the text while he was mostly asleep and was dreaming he was at a friend’s house. I’ve seen sleep walking and sleep talking but…sleep texting. That is a new one.
Just say no to Slexting.
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And one more text story…
This morning, Jim texted me this while at IHOP with Eric and Greg:
Jim: This just happened…
Host: Can I have your name for the wait list.
Jim.
Host writes Jean.
No, Jim.
Host writes Jin.
No, J. I. M.
To Eric: Do I slur my words???
Eric: No Jean.
Me: Hahaha! Well…u DO look more like a Jean or a Jin.
Jim: Fork u.
And so our day begins…
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Did you laugh? Then vote. (Heck, vote even if you didn’t laugh!)
Click here and then press the THUMBS UP button to vote for me. Vote every 24 hrs until Feb 13!
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I thought I had taken a video of Eric’s “Author’s Night” at school. But the video wasn’t on the camera. It wasn’t. I looked. Multiple times!
So imagine my surprise when I was just viewing photos I uploaded today. And the video from last night was on the computer.
Photo: sweetteadiaries.com
I’m not sure which is worse. Not properly recording the video. Or not being able to find it.
Either way, I should just say NO to video.
P.S. Yes, you can hear “Jack’s” phone conversation in the background…
After you click here, you need to also click the THUMBS UP to vote for me. Voting ends Feb 13 and you can vote every 24 hours!Just one click here is a vote.Click to help me KEEP the top spot!
Tonight was Author’s Night. A bunch of 4th graders, including Eric, read stories they wrote. It was very cute. Really, it was.
When I found out Jim had a work conflict and couldn’t attend, I told him I’d videotape Eric. For the few of you other than me that are still watching the (downfall of) The Office, you will remember in the most recent episode that Jim Halpert missed his daughter’s dance recital because of work. Pam told Jim she would video the recital so he could watch. But she messed up. (For the rest of you that gave up on the show when Steve Carrell left, click here for a recap.)
Earlier today I joked that I needed to make sure I didn’t “Pull a Pam.”
I did.
Before Eric read his story, I practiced. I have a beautiful test video of the floor.
As Eric began speaking, I pushed the same buttons. There was even a red dot on the screen. I found a spot to stand where I’d have an unobstructed view. I steadied my hand. I did everything right.
Only I didn’t.
There is no video. Not even a few seconds.
I’m a videot.
I did at least get a photo.
Up at the mic!
Maybe it is for the best that I pulled a Pam. Because now I don’t have a video reminder of the Jackhole who decided it was ok to answer his cell phone. While Eric was reading his story.
I wish I had a video of my friend’s face, who was sitting in front of me, as she turned around to incredulously look at…we’ll just call him “Jack” for short. Oh wait, I should have a video of it.
Jack did have the “courtesy” to walk out into the hallway (while talking the whole way across the gym) where he continued his phone conversation. With the gym door open.
Eric didn’t notice the interruption and I was able to save my disbelief for afterwards so I could focus on him and enjoy his moment in the spotlight.
Several of the student authors definitely have the potential of going on to be adult writers. When they go on their book tours and speak in front of an audience , I will offer them this tip…
Remember our foster kitten, Bob B. McKitty? (If not, click here for a reminder.) I was convinced he was related to the famous Hunter S. Thomcat. But maybe I just knew he was destined for fame.
We had Bob for 6 months – which is the longest time we’ve ever had a foster – even though he is the BEST foster ever. Well, except when a potential adopter would come meet him. Then he’d turn into the snootiest, least snuggly, most uncooperative cat in the world. I won’t even mention what he did at an adoption event at a Petsmart. His personality would change so much we could have written a kitty version of the “What About Bob?” movie about his personality disorder.
But now I know why. He was just waiting for bigger and better things. He recently was adopted by Greta Van Susteren’s brother in Vermont.
And just HOW did he get to Vermont, you may ask? He flew on Greta’s PRIVATE jet, that’s how!
Only Bob would get to travel in style like that.
Photo: economist.com
I heard it has gone to his head though…
Photo: memegenerator.com
Yes, Bob is now living the good life. Greta even wrote about him on her blog…
I should be greeting my guests right now for our annual Chili Cook-off party. I should be showing them where to put their coats. I should be showing the contest participants where to put their entries. I should be smelling the spices from the various recipes. I should be handing out tickets for voting. I should be all smiles.
I shouldn’t be stuck in bed with lymph nodes so swollen I can’t turn my head. I shouldn’t be feeling my throat get worse and worse with each swallow. I shouldn’t feel like I’m in quick sand when I try to move. My husband shouldn’t have spent all day trying to get in touch with everyone on the guest list to tell them the party is cancelled. I shouldn’t be in tears.
We hosted our first Chili Cook-off 18 years ago. I love hosting parties. My body doesn’t. I almost always get sick shortly after hosting anything. We refer to it as my “PPSS.” Post Party Stress Syndrome. I know it isn’t a coincidence that I ended up being sick enough to send me to the ER the past two Februaries (the Chili party is always the end of January).
But apparently my body has decided it isn’t going to wait until AFTER big events anymore. It has now chosen twice to shut down DURING. And ruin things.
I always tell people the treatments I’ve tried during the past 5 years have improved my symptoms. Malaria medicine that looks – and tastes – like fluorescent paint. Antibiotics. Handfuls of supplements. More antibiotics. Not to mention the multitude of tests I have endured to try to make some sense out of some of the bizarre symptoms. And I do know that I am better. But I sometimes wonder if the medicine has helped as much as I think, or if I have just adjusted my lifestyle to accommodate.
I evaluate the effort required for everything I do to decide if it is worth using my limited energy.
I now know I must schedule in a nap (at least once) daily. My kids are now older and more self-sufficient, and therefore less physically taxing. I have lowered my standards of what a “clean house” means. I have raised the acceptable level of “video game time” so I can rest. We eat out much more than we used to. My kids don’t have friends over as often as they’d like. I have given up hobbies. I have given up a lot.
And now apparently it is trying to make me give up my parties.
So, am I really winning against the disease? Or is it winning against me?
Every day I have to live within the constraints that my body sets for me. And when I don’t, I pay the price.
Some days the price is higher than others. Like today.
But tomorrow is another day. Another day with a 10 pound pot of chili lookin’ for a party.
(In case you haven’t read My Sick and Tired List, click here.)
I will probably delete the rest of this but feel the need to vent. And no one reads blogs on the weekends anyway so it is a good opportunity to get my frustrations out…
To the lady woman who commented “Boo. Another A-list wannabe. Puke!” on my post about my lunch with Melissa:
Screw. You.
My trip was a much needed break from the daily struggles of my “L-list” life (lyme and lupus life). And if you had actually bothered to read the rest of my posts about the trip, you’d know that even going to another state wasn’t enough to escape the problems. They followed me there too.
But it was still a very exciting experience that I wanted to share.
And I’ll take my sick life any day over a life so bitter that you can’t stand to read about a little happiness in someone else’s life without being snarky.
…And I must point out that you made that comment while posting on the Real Housewives FAN Page…
Click here to vote! I’m a “B-list” wannabe. (BLOG list!)Click here too!
Don't ask me about my kids or I will Momopolize the conversation!
) n. The existing condition or state of affairs.
