Category Archives: Uncategorized

Humor, Joke, Life, Parenting, pets, Uncategorized

Santa Lost His Head. Or Was It Stolen?

December 31, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 2 Comments

One day last week, I spent the day running around like a chicken with my head cut off, finishing last minute Christmas prep. I must admit I was so stressed by my to-do list that what I saw when I got home made me lose my head. And I wasn’t the only one. I walked in to find this…

And this…

I was 100% sure the guilty looking one – Brownie – was innocent. I’d have bet money it was Cookie that beheaded my “peek-a-boo Santa.”

I told the kids not to eat Santa’s cookies while I was gone but didn’t think I needed to tell Cookie not to eat Santa. Lesson learned.

I attempted to prop the head back on…

But kept finding this…

Even when Cookie wasn’t around.

A little research uncovered a disturbing find…SANTA HAS BEEN LOSING HIS HEAD A LOT!

Maybe Cookie really was as innocent as her expression.

I always visualized Santa as calm, cool and collected. Not rattled by anything. But, perhaps, he gets just as frazzled as the rest of us. And loses his head.

Photos on Flickr* show this shocking proof…

Apparently he occasionally loses his pants too…

Sometimes he can be hot headed…

Other times he blows his top…

So does Santa just have a short fuse like the rest of us?

Or is there a dog conspiracy to steal Santa’s head?

Perhaps we’ll never know for sure…

But I will remind you that Brownie and Cookie are known felons.

Does the photo of them in this post remind you of something you’ve seen before? (If not, you need to read “To Catch A Thief…Again.”)

<—beheaded Santa

From “To Catch A Thief…Again”—>

P.S. You can also find videos on You Tube of Santa sans noggin. But I wouldn’t suggest searching for “Santa Lost His Head” there. You get some unexpected results. Including a case of someone who decapitated a man in Santa Maria. And a video about two turtles humping. I don’t even want to know WHY that showed up as a match.

We’re #13 for Humor Blogs

*Photo credit: All photos not taken by me that don’t have a photo credit listed as a caption can be found on flickr.com on the first page of search results for “Santa lost his head” or “hot headed Santa.”

Happiness, Humor, Joke, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized

No Jacket Required

December 26, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 6 Comments

I won’t be needing any more coats to warm up my computer.

Either my family has high hopes for Momopolize, or they were just tired of listening to me complain about my old piece of junk computer. Regardless of the reason, the only thing freezing here today is the road. (Drive carefully if your roads are icy too!)

My new computer even has a fingerprint recognition thingy (official name). It makes me feel so Jane Bond. Even though I’m more of an “I Spy With My Little Eye” type of gal.

I guess I better start working on advertising deals to get Momopolize in the black. (Can I count the NYC trip to get me out of the red??) I feel like I should end every post with a current total like they do on the “Two Broke Girls” show.

I know I don’t deserve another present, but clicking the link below would be a great gift. It would make my competitive side very happy. I’m in 3rd but 1st would make potential advertisers happy also. And then I could take away the negative sign for my current total. 🙂 Just click and voila. Done.

Tomorrow I will post about our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day shenanigans. Whenever all 6 of us are together for many hours at a time, you can count on some really good blog material.

Community, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

Muzilla, no Snowzilla and I Don’t Sound Like The Chipmunks

December 19, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 3 Comments

I should have known better than to try to set up a cute little light-up village in a house with cats…

I may have Muzilla in my house, but at least there was no Snowzilla around my house to cancel “Jolly Old Saint Nick Or Treat, Give Me Something Good To Eat” yesterday. Will write more about that soon when I have time for something other than “quick and easy” posts!

Since Mushu was so afraid of that cat Halloween decoration, maybe I need to pull that out as a “scare-crow” or, in this case, a “scare-cat” or a “scare-d-cat?”

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I attended my first twitter blog party last night. It was quite fun and I enjoyed meeting some other bloggers. I’m really trying to get with the times on this whole social media thing. What happened to the “good old days” where everyone was just on Facebook and you actually decided which posts you want to see instead of Facebook selecting for you???

The blog party was to celebrate the launch of the eBook “Bloggy Moms Guide To A Better Blog” by Tiffany Noth. I don’t know what the rules are for posting excerpts (need to get with the times on that also) so to avoid any violations, I “x’d” out all but one part (yeah, I need to get with the times and get a good photo editor too).

Recognize any names??

I’m so happy my voice is authentic. Wouldn’t want to sound like Alvin. But I will do my best Chipmunk impersonation to say “time for joy and time for cheer!”

Honestly I am honored to be one of only12 blogs mentioned in the book as examples! And I’m so happy that others view what I write as the real deal, and not fake. That is a huge compliment in my book (no pun intended).

Thanks Bloggy Moms for the mention! Can I say I’ve been published now??

I feel like I’ve been so fortunate lately (in the blogging world, at least), that I almost didn’t write about this. I didn’t want to cross the brag line. But I’m excited…and I write about things I’m excited about. So if I didn’t write about it, that would be fake. And they’d have to take me out of the book. So there you have it.

If you would like to read what is crossed out, head over to bloggymoms.com to purchase and download the ebook. No, I was not compensated for, nor asked to promote sales in exchange for being named in the book. Just want to help Tiffany and…I want people to buy since I’m in it! 😉

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Time for a daily click. Thanks to everyone that clicked theses banners in my other posts. I tried to be all computer savvy and put them at the end of each post (instead of the side bar, where WordPress does the coding for me) but I didn’t do the link properly so none of those clicks counted. Story of my life… So much for that college degree in computers (that I haven’t used for 10+ years). I *think* I have the links correct now. Time will tell…

(P.S. After I hit publish, I realized the link was still incorrect. I think I need to give my diploma back. So you should REALLY click on the buttons below. You just don’t know WHAT surprise you may get since I obviously don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Maybe a cute little animated snowman will pop up.)

Humor, Joke, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Christmas Presence

December 17, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 5 Comments

My kids’ wish lists are, frankly, very boring this year. Video games and legos. Blah. So I’ve decided instead to just wrap this…

…with a note inside saying “Better luck getting gifts on the day YOU were born.”

When they ask why it is empty under the tree, I will play dumb (I’m good at that) and say “Ooohhhh, it is presents with a TS. My bad.”

<— I can get a really good deal on a case of these for everyone else on my shopping list.

Or an even easier way to avoid the mall…

If you are finished shopping, I suggest adding this to the first package opened to set a festive mood…

At least our pets are really into gift-giving this year…

In all seriousness, I truly am looking forward to being in the presence of all my loved ones this Christmas. That is a priceless gift.

Happiness, Life, News, Uncategorized

What Would One Wear To Lunch With Melissa Gorga??

December 11, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 18 Comments

Because I need to know!!!

Thanks to everyone who voted, I am NYC bound on January 3 and will be having lunch with Melissa Gorga on January 4!!! I am so thrilled!!! Thank you, thank you! More details soon but, seriously, what the heck should I wear to lunch with one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey???

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P.S. I got the news about this a while ago but was sworn to secrecy until the official announcement was made. So I am also thrilled that I don’t have to keep the secret any longer because it is apparent that I’m not good at keeping my mouth shut. 🙂

Desserts, Humor, Joke, Life, Uncategorized

Easy As What???

November 20, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 13 Comments

Confession time: I have never made a pie. Ever. The thought intimidates me. I mean, check out the recipe at the bottom of this post! It’s not a recipe, it’s a short novel. (I put the recipe at the bottom because it is so long, I knew no one would read that far so anything I wrote after the recipe would be pointless.)

Where the heck did the term “easy as pie” come from anyway? The recipe below says the time to make it is 2 hours and it serves 10-12. They have it backwards. It would take me 10-12 hours to make and, in my house, would serve 2. If I’m lucky.

I like my recipe better.

Put It On The Table Apple Pie Recipe

Difficulty Level: ~~Easy as Pie~~ Really Easy

Time: 2 hours

Yield: 10-12 boys with enormous appetites

Ingredients:

Costco membership card
Car
$15 cash. Note: Substituting credit instead of cash not recommended. Debit substitution will yield better results, but cash is best.

Directions:

Drive to nearest Costco.
Display your membership card, along with a big smile.
Visit all sample tables. This is the most time consuming step and should be eliminated if you substituted credit.
Choose apple pie with the least perfect latice crust on top (for believability).
Remove plastic covering and price tag.
Sprinkle face with flour.
Add half-baked excuses when asked for recipe.

We are on dessert duty for Thanksgiving dinner with Jim’s family. I’d like to be adventuresome and try my hand at pie making (NOT the one below though). However, I’m pretty sure I will stick to my tried-and-true recipe above. I have a similar recipe for “Put It On The Table Sheet Cake.” But I may actually bake one of those because, in comparison to the pie ~~recipe~~ instruction manual, making a cake will be a piece of ca…oh, nevermind.

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Happiness, Humor, Inspiration, Joke, Parenting, Uncategorized

Don’t Talk To Strangers. Just Let Them Follow You.

November 16, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 4 Comments

Jake: You have more Twitter followers than I do!!

Me: And I only know about 5 of them in real life.

Jake: That’s creepy.

Me: That’s what bloggers want. To get a whole bunch of people they don’t know to read what they write.

Jake: Why??

Me: …Good question…

(So much for the years spent preaching about “stranger danger” and not giving out any personal information on the internet.)

Do as I say, not as I do.

Charity, Happiness, Help, Humor, Inspiration, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Jolly Old St. Nick-or-Treat

November 15, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 1 Comment

Santa Halloween smallbusinessbcca — Photo credit: smallbusinessbc.ca

Rescheduling “Trick or Treat, Give Me Something Good To Eat” has proven to be a bit…umm…tricky.

Unfortunately there wasn’t a workable date to transform the event into “Snacksgiving” (I thought that was a little less offensive than calling it “Thanksgivoweenie.”).

I did, however, have a meeting yesterday and am happy to report it will be held in conjunction with a distribution of shoe box filled gifts for Christmas.

It will most likely be held strictly indoors (because I don’t want Mother Nature flubbing things up again!) with some festive decorations and games with the food as “prizes.” There is a possibility of still trying to incorporate the trunk-or-treat concept. “Christmas Tree Trunk-or-treat” perhaps.

I’m anxious for this to happen (and to get all the food out of my living room), but for now I suppose I will just have to Ho-Ho-Hold my horses.

Stay tuned…

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And my daily PITA reminder: VOTE, VOTE, VOTE. Yes, I realize the presidential election is over. But another important vote is needed. To help me win a trip to NYC and some schmoozing and boozing and make-over with Melissa Gorga. Click on the link below, go to the second page of stories and vote for Angela M.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/volispirits/app_489717107739723

Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Want To See Me With BIG Hair??

November 13, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 7 Comments

Anyone who knew me in the 80s knows I can rock me some big hair. You can help me get a Jersey girl make-over with Melissa Gorga’s (Real Housewives of New Jersey) make-up artist. You can also help me get a trip to NYC, including lunch with Melissa, as well as some other fun goodies. I’m one of 10 finalists for the Voli Light Vodka’s Housewives Hero contest. And I need your vote!

Just click this link, go to the second page of stories and vote for my story (Angela M). I will be eternally grateful. No, I’m serious. I will!

https://www.facebook.com/#!/volispirits/app_489717107739723

I’ve never been to NYC so I’m shamelessly begging for votes. And I’ve only been on 2 trips without kids in the past 16 years! Feeling sorry enough for me yet to click the link and vote? 😉

Not feeling pity? Well how about curiosity? If I win, I will post many photos of me with some majorly big make-over hair. I have super thick hair so when I say big, I mean BIG. No “bump it” help needed here. That should be plenty of incentive to want to help me win.

Unfortunately I’m starting out at a disadvantage because voting began almost a week ago, but I just got notified today. Go figure. But I’m hoping my friends and readers will come through for me and vote every day (yes, I will be a pain in the butt until Friday. I apologize in advance.).

As a teaser, here’s a glimpse into the big hair era. And this was the 90s. You will just have to imagine how big the 80s look was. Unless I win, of course. Then you will see it first hand.

And my best “Real Housewives” impersonation…with Jim “The Situation”

Go big, or stay home. I want to go big.

Please vote! 🙂

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My kids totally burst my bubble when they saw those photos. “That’s YOU Mom?? You look nothing like that now.” I wanted to say “Yeah, that was before YOU gave me grey hair and wrinkles.” 😉 BUT…with a make-over by Melissa Gorga’s make-up artist…

Halloween, Humor, Joke, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Mc-BOO-n-isms

November 3, 2012 momopolize@gmail.com 8 Comments

I pride myself on being pretty brave with spookiness at Halloween, but as I reached in this bin to grab a decoration that was under some costume capes, I was turned into a total scaredy cat!

What do you think had me so terrorized???

No, it wasn’t the monster hand below the decoration that frightened me.

It was something

much,

much scarier.

The not-so-scaredy cat, Mushu, wasn’t startled at all. He was just annoyed that I woke him. That’ll teach me to make sure it is JUST black capes before I stick my hand in next time…

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Filed under the “things I never thought I’d have to say” category…

“Don’t hit your brother with the cat!!!!!”

Don’t worry, it isn’t Mushu.

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Mushu may not have been afraid when I reached in the bin, but I think he met his match.

Mushu was happy I used my crappy camera phone so you all can’t see the terror in his eyes.

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Brownie really enjoyed this scratch behind the ears.

She just didn’t know it was going to cost an arm and a leg.

She still owes us the leg.

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Speaking of the arm, it mysteriously shows up in the weirdest places in our house. And no one ever claims responsibility for moving it. It’s a little disturbing…

But you know what is MORE disturbing?? That my children think it is acceptable to throw their sports ~~crap~~ equipment all over the floor.

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Notice anything unusual in this “Trunk or Treat” photo? No, not the flying white witch. Or the giant cockroach. Or the freaky looking face to the left of Greg (although I don’t remember that being there when I took the photo…hmm…). Check out Eric’s “bag” for collecting his candy.

Yes, it is an empty Chefboyardee ravioli box. Not decorated, not disguised, not even tucked in flaps. Just a ravioli box.

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Every year we forget to carve our pumpkin. So we are always frantically scooping out pumpkin guts as the trick-or-treaters are arriving. This year Greg saved the day and did the pumpkin all by himself (well, with a little help from Dad on the sharp stuff) before the trick-or-treaters arrived.

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For a work event, Jim had to show off his baking skills by bringing in a Halloween themed dessert. He found this fun idea that he thought seemed simple enough. I should have warned him that anything on Martha Stewart’s website is never as easy as it looks.

witch cupcakes marthastewartcom — Photo: marthastewart.com

He could only find regular waffle cones (not chocolate) and regular Twizzlers (not string licorice), but assembled the rest of the ingredients. He worked into the wee hours of the morning and was pretty happy with his results. Until he had the following conversation with Greg…

Greg: What are those supposed to be?

Jim: What do you think they are supposed to be?

Greg: Ummmm…Snowmen?

So much for the MartyStewart.com idea.

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What was the most terrifying thing I saw this Halloween season, you may ask? This teenage girl who was obviously bewitched by Jake. Eeeeeek.

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I always loved the “spot the differences” game. Comment with the differences YOU can find!

Hint: There are 47.

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Don't ask me about my kids or I will Momopolize the conversation!