I almost had to explain a different meaning to “in the heat”of the moment.
Our current foster cat, Mona, was rescued with her 2 kittens, who were adopted a couple of weeks ago. When a Momma cat realizes her kittens are “missing,” she frantically searches and howls for them for a few days. It is sad. They move on though.
But Mona started howling again.
Because she is in heat.
Moan-a is a good name for her right now.
Her actions prompted this conversation:
Hey good lookin’. Buy me a glass of milk?
Eric: Poor Mona. She is still meowing and looking for her babies.
Me: MmmHmm. She is looking for something all right. But she is saying “come here baby” for a different reason.
Eric: She’s been a lot more playful since her kittens left. She tries to play with Mushu ALL the time. She crouches down with her butt up in the air like she’s going to pounce on him.
Me: MmmHmm. I haven’t heard it referred to as “pouncing” before, but we can call it that. However, she wants to be the pounce-ee.
Eric: Mushu doesn’t seem like he wants to play though.
Me: MmmHmm. Mushu doesn’t have the balls to “play” with Mona. Literally.
OK, my actual response was just the “MmmHmm” part…but I THOUGHT the rest.
I could have used this as a teachable moment. But the birds and the bees, kitty style, can wait. I will let a pounce just be a pounce for a little longer.
Here she comes now sayin’ Mona Mona. Hey. Hey What? Get lai…
Oops, probably not an appropriate song right now….
Since Mushu is neutered, Mona is just going to have to sing “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…”
P.S. Get your cats (and dogs) spayed (and neutered) to reduce pet overpopulation. And so you don’t have to hear any Moan-a, Moan-a!
_____
Since I’ve had to listen to a cat meow non-stop for days, can you give me a couple of votes to help me forget about my headache? Just a click is all it takes!
Just click on the banner to vote.Then click on this banner!
Jake told me my 100th post needed to be something special. You get this instead.
_____
Me (without looking away from my computer): I saw that.
Jake: What?
Me: You better apologize before I get to 3.
Jake: For what?
Me: 1. 2.
Jake: I didn’t moon them!
Me: I never said moon.
Jake: Hu…? Dang it. You’re good.
_____
In the “should never have to come out of my mouth” category…
“Don’t stand on the chair and fart in your brother’s face.”
Not to the 8 year old. Or the 10 year old. Or even the 13 year old. Yes, I did indeed need to say those words to the 16 year old.
_____
Jimmy blew a straw wrapper at Eric and hit him right between the eyes.
Me: Good shot.
Jimmy: I’ve had lots of practice sniping.
Me: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
_____
During a conversation about past restaurant jobs…
Me: In high school, I was a cook and a busgirl but not a waitress.
Greg to Jim: Were you ever a waitress?
_____
100th post AND 6 months since I started Momopolize. And you get farts and butts. And the image of Jim in a waitress uniform.
I slept in this morning since I am getting over being sick (shocker). When I came downstairs after everyone had left for school, I found this on the dog bed…
Are our Labs living up to their name? Did they really retrieve the bowl and spoon off the kitchen table and manage to drag it to the dog bed? Cookie can already open doors and unlatch gates. I guess I should add carrying a bowl to her list of talents.
Or perhaps my kids are tired of having oatmeal every day. But I think they would be a little more discreet about ditching their unwanted food. I realize the “veggies in the napkin” trick would be tough to do with oatmeal, but I still don’t think they would have been brazen enough to leave it out in broad daylight for me to find. And I doubt they would add a cat food can lid to “throw me off their tracks.”
Either way, I now have photographic evidence that my kids don’t know how to put a dish in the dishwasher.
_____
See the cute little pink circle? I hate putting it in my post. I really do. I have always sucked at asking for help or favors or feeling pushy. Even just asking for something that takes a few seconds. But, it is contests like this that increase my readership. Circle of Moms has over 10 million subscribers so the higher I get in the ranking for their contest, the more exposure I will get! The writing part of blogging is the fun part for me. The promoting part is not.
The top bloggers in this contest are well-known and have exponentially more followers than I do (and most have been blogging for years). I’m definitely the under-dog trying to hang with the Big Dogs. The Mom&Pop shop next to the Walmart (actually I would be the Mom&Op(olize) Shop. Read that a couple of times. You’ll get it. LOL). But wouldn’t it be SO COOL if EVERYONE reading this voted for me every day until the 13th and skyrocketed me up to the top 25. And all the big wig blogs were like “Woah, who the heck is this Momopolize person and how did she get up here??” I’ve always said I have the BEST readers. You can now prove that to the blogging world. Let’s show them it isn’t always quantity. We have QUALITY readers here people.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It probably wouldn’t be all that cool for YOU. But could you still click the cute pink circle?? And THEN CLICK THE THUMBS UP BUTTON in the box for the “Top 25 Funny Moms 2013” contest. I don’t want to stay on the porch.
I don’t want to end my post pleading so watch the cutest video. It will definitely make you laugh…
Jimmy had to be at school very early yesterday morning to go with his wrestling team to a tournament. The following half asleep text conversation happened since I was too lazy to get out of bed…
Me: U back fron dripping Jimmy at school?
Jim: Yes but I have to go back and drip a Gatorade off that he forgot.
Me: That’s nice f u.
Jim: F u 2.
Me: *Of. 😛
A few minutes later….
Me: Hey drippy, did u get the Gatorade 2 him b4 the bus left.?
Jim: Yes. 😛
Me: Good fork u.
And so our day began…
_____
Speaking of the tournament…it went well until Jimmy’s nose battled his opponent’s head. The nose lost. It is broken, which means he will have to wear a special mask to protect it when he wrestles next weekend.
The mask may look like this…
Photo: shopping.com
But it could look like this…
Photo: kellysports.com
Personally, I vote for something like THIS, to really freak his opponent out…
Photo: thirdage.com
_____
Last night Jimmy texted me at 11:30.
Jimmy: Can you come pick me up?
He was home. In his bed.
I ran to his room convinced that we hadn’t realized he got a concussion when he broke his nose. I made him talk to me for a while and answer all kinds of questions.
He was fine. He sent the text while he was mostly asleep and was dreaming he was at a friend’s house. I’ve seen sleep walking and sleep talking but…sleep texting. That is a new one.
Just say no to Slexting.
_____
And one more text story…
This morning, Jim texted me this while at IHOP with Eric and Greg:
Jim: This just happened…
Host: Can I have your name for the wait list.
Jim.
Host writes Jean.
No, Jim.
Host writes Jin.
No, J. I. M.
To Eric: Do I slur my words???
Eric: No Jean.
Me: Hahaha! Well…u DO look more like a Jean or a Jin.
Jim: Fork u.
And so our day begins…
_____
Did you laugh? Then vote. (Heck, vote even if you didn’t laugh!)
Click here and then press the THUMBS UP button to vote for me. Vote every 24 hrs until Feb 13!
Also click the “Best Mom Blogs” and “Top Mommy Blogs” badges to the right (near the top). Just a click is a vote for those 2. —>
I thought I had taken a video of Eric’s “Author’s Night” at school. But the video wasn’t on the camera. It wasn’t. I looked. Multiple times!
So imagine my surprise when I was just viewing photos I uploaded today. And the video from last night was on the computer.
Photo: sweetteadiaries.com
I’m not sure which is worse. Not properly recording the video. Or not being able to find it.
Either way, I should just say NO to video.
P.S. Yes, you can hear “Jack’s” phone conversation in the background…
After you click here, you need to also click the THUMBS UP to vote for me. Voting ends Feb 13 and you can vote every 24 hours!Just one click here is a vote.Click to help me KEEP the top spot!
Tonight was Author’s Night. A bunch of 4th graders, including Eric, read stories they wrote. It was very cute. Really, it was.
When I found out Jim had a work conflict and couldn’t attend, I told him I’d videotape Eric. For the few of you other than me that are still watching the (downfall of) The Office, you will remember in the most recent episode that Jim Halpert missed his daughter’s dance recital because of work. Pam told Jim she would video the recital so he could watch. But she messed up. (For the rest of you that gave up on the show when Steve Carrell left, click here for a recap.)
Earlier today I joked that I needed to make sure I didn’t “Pull a Pam.”
I did.
Before Eric read his story, I practiced. I have a beautiful test video of the floor.
As Eric began speaking, I pushed the same buttons. There was even a red dot on the screen. I found a spot to stand where I’d have an unobstructed view. I steadied my hand. I did everything right.
Only I didn’t.
There is no video. Not even a few seconds.
I’m a videot.
I did at least get a photo.
Up at the mic!
Maybe it is for the best that I pulled a Pam. Because now I don’t have a video reminder of the Jackhole who decided it was ok to answer his cell phone. While Eric was reading his story.
I wish I had a video of my friend’s face, who was sitting in front of me, as she turned around to incredulously look at…we’ll just call him “Jack” for short. Oh wait, I should have a video of it.
Jack did have the “courtesy” to walk out into the hallway (while talking the whole way across the gym) where he continued his phone conversation. With the gym door open.
Eric didn’t notice the interruption and I was able to save my disbelief for afterwards so I could focus on him and enjoy his moment in the spotlight.
Several of the student authors definitely have the potential of going on to be adult writers. When they go on their book tours and speak in front of an audience , I will offer them this tip…
Remember our foster kitten, Bob B. McKitty? (If not, click here for a reminder.) I was convinced he was related to the famous Hunter S. Thomcat. But maybe I just knew he was destined for fame.
We had Bob for 6 months – which is the longest time we’ve ever had a foster – even though he is the BEST foster ever. Well, except when a potential adopter would come meet him. Then he’d turn into the snootiest, least snuggly, most uncooperative cat in the world. I won’t even mention what he did at an adoption event at a Petsmart. His personality would change so much we could have written a kitty version of the “What About Bob?” movie about his personality disorder.
But now I know why. He was just waiting for bigger and better things. He recently was adopted by Greta Van Susteren’s brother in Vermont.
And just HOW did he get to Vermont, you may ask? He flew on Greta’s PRIVATE jet, that’s how!
Only Bob would get to travel in style like that.
Photo: economist.com
I heard it has gone to his head though…
Photo: memegenerator.com
Yes, Bob is now living the good life. Greta even wrote about him on her blog…
For those of you just tuning in, I recently went on a whirlwind trip to NYC including lunch with Melissa Gorga – courtesy of Voli Light Vodka – for winning their Housewife Heroes contest. I wrote a guest blog post on Voli’s blog about it!
For those of you that have read the rest of the journey, you’ve made it through the “bad and the ugly” parts about my mishaps, trials and tribulations. Now you will be rewarded with the good. The fancy-schmancy parts of the trip. The conversations I had with Melissa. The pampering. But to read about it you have to click HERE or the link below!
No catchy title for this post. I thought about calling it “In a New York Minute” since the lunch – and trip – seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. But I went with shameless celebrity name dropping instead to attract more readers.
The Voli blog post is just the tip of the iceberg. And there were times I felt like the Titanic. In case you missed it, MUCH more about those stories of the trip can be found in these links…
Plus, there was an official press packet that was picked up by some “celebrity” blogs. They all say pretty much the same thing but I had to include multiple ones. What can I say…seeing my name with all the celebrities made me all starry eyed.
(To read the other parts of my NYC trip, click here.)
Well, I’m out-of-order again. This should be posted after the Voli guest blog post with the details about lunch with Melissa Gorga. But since I’m not sure how long it will take them to review what I wrote and since it has been two weeks since the trip, I’m going to go ahead and wrap this story up! (Don’t worry, I will still post the link to the Voli post when it is published!).
After lunch with the Jersey girl, we spent the evening with the Jersey Boys (after a nap to re-charge, of course! Sorry “city that never sleeps” – you may need to change your name after my visit!)!
The Broadway show was all I hoped it would be. Loved it!
After the show, we had a late dinner at John’s Pizzeria (yeah, we made sure we got our fill of NY pizza) which was recommended by George (Melissa’s make-up artist). I actually preferred it over Lombardi’s. Both were fantastic, but I liked this crust a bit better. And yes, Jim is sticking his tongue out.
It was freezing cold that evening, so the 5 block walk back to the hotel seemed very long! I was happy to get under some warm covers.
___
The next morning we woke with a lot still left on the “want-to-see” list. Unfortunately my pillow won for the “must-see” list. I thought we’d leave the hotel long before the noon check-out time but I think we left the building at about 11:57.
Luckily our flight was late in the day, so we still had several hours. By this point of the trip, my joints were rebelling from all the walking and the frigid temps made matters worse. We ate lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., mainly because we had eaten at one in Florida years ago. I was hoping mind over body would transport me to Florida so I wouldn’t feel chilled to the bone for a moment!
FYI, I could live on nothing but the “Seafood Hush Pups” for at least a month! Of course I had to get a photo on the bench with the “Life Is Like A Box Of Brown Stuff Chocolates” box.
I must have been missing the kids a lot by this point, because most of the stops we made the rest of the afternoon were kid related. Souvenir shopping, naturally, and a pit-stop to see the amazing Toys R Us store. A ferris wheel IN the store. Wow!
Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory in Toys R Us was just as Wonky as the movie. I got stuck in the endless tunnel.
After seeing the New York Toys R Us photos, my kids will never want to step foot in our local store again. Just one story and no carnival rides?? Just look at how boring it looks…
The busiest store we visited was the 3 story M&M store.
We witnessed a turf war. Elmo vs. Elmo. Luckily Batman was there to resolve the territorial dispute.
No trip to NYC is complete without a Naked Cowboy sighting.
We didn’t want THAT to be our last memory of the city, so our grand finale was a trip to the Top of the Rock for a bird’s-eye view.
Time for Hugh to take us back to the airport. Good-bye NYC.
When we arrived back at Dulles airport, I took all necessary precautions to make sure no paparazzi recognized me. (Yes, those are Voli sunglasses that were in my care package.) My disguise must have worked because not a single photog recognized me. Glad I dodged THAT bullet!
We didn’t know what to do after we left baggage claim. I mean NO ONE had a sign with our name on it. NO ONE offered to carry our luggage. Gawsh.
We had to walk ALL the way to the parking garage and then the worst thing of all happened. We had to DRIVE OURSELVES HOME.
Not impressed.
Fairy Tale is over. Back to life. Back to reality.
But I think we just may live happily ever after anyway!
___
Click here too!Click to help me KEEP the top spot!
Thanks for following along with my Housewife Hero journey with a Real Housewife.
Don’t forget to follow Momopolize by email (upper right corner of this page). Any heroes you read about from here on will most likely be of the submarine sandwich variety. My glamorous real housewife life may be over, but my HUMOROUS real housewife life will continue on and on and on!
But – JUST IN CASE – don’t be surprised if you see me around town incognito…
Don't ask me about my kids or I will Momopolize the conversation!
