For those of you just tuning in, I recently went on a whirlwind trip to NYC including lunch with Melissa Gorga – courtesy of Voli Light Vodka – for winning their Housewife Heroes contest. I wrote a guest blog post on Voli’s blog about it!
For those of you that have read the rest of the journey, you’ve made it through the “bad and the ugly” parts about my mishaps, trials and tribulations. Now you will be rewarded with the good. The fancy-schmancy parts of the trip. The conversations I had with Melissa. The pampering. But to read about it you have to click HERE or the link below!
No catchy title for this post. I thought about calling it “In a New York Minute” since the lunch – and trip – seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. But I went with shameless celebrity name dropping instead to attract more readers.
The Voli blog post is just the tip of the iceberg. And there were times I felt like the Titanic. In case you missed it, MUCH more about those stories of the trip can be found in these links…
Plus, there was an official press packet that was picked up by some “celebrity” blogs. They all say pretty much the same thing but I had to include multiple ones. What can I say…seeing my name with all the celebrities made me all starry eyed.
(To read the other parts of my NYC trip, click here.)
Well, I’m out-of-order again. This should be posted after the Voli guest blog post with the details about lunch with Melissa Gorga. But since I’m not sure how long it will take them to review what I wrote and since it has been two weeks since the trip, I’m going to go ahead and wrap this story up! (Don’t worry, I will still post the link to the Voli post when it is published!).
After lunch with the Jersey girl, we spent the evening with the Jersey Boys (after a nap to re-charge, of course! Sorry “city that never sleeps” – you may need to change your name after my visit!)!
The Broadway show was all I hoped it would be. Loved it!
After the show, we had a late dinner at John’s Pizzeria (yeah, we made sure we got our fill of NY pizza) which was recommended by George (Melissa’s make-up artist). I actually preferred it over Lombardi’s. Both were fantastic, but I liked this crust a bit better. And yes, Jim is sticking his tongue out.
It was freezing cold that evening, so the 5 block walk back to the hotel seemed very long! I was happy to get under some warm covers.
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The next morning we woke with a lot still left on the “want-to-see” list. Unfortunately my pillow won for the “must-see” list. I thought we’d leave the hotel long before the noon check-out time but I think we left the building at about 11:57.
Luckily our flight was late in the day, so we still had several hours. By this point of the trip, my joints were rebelling from all the walking and the frigid temps made matters worse. We ate lunch at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., mainly because we had eaten at one in Florida years ago. I was hoping mind over body would transport me to Florida so I wouldn’t feel chilled to the bone for a moment!
FYI, I could live on nothing but the “Seafood Hush Pups” for at least a month! Of course I had to get a photo on the bench with the “Life Is Like A Box Of Brown Stuff Chocolates” box.
I must have been missing the kids a lot by this point, because most of the stops we made the rest of the afternoon were kid related. Souvenir shopping, naturally, and a pit-stop to see the amazing Toys R Us store. A ferris wheel IN the store. Wow!
Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory in Toys R Us was just as Wonky as the movie. I got stuck in the endless tunnel.
After seeing the New York Toys R Us photos, my kids will never want to step foot in our local store again. Just one story and no carnival rides?? Just look at how boring it looks…
The busiest store we visited was the 3 story M&M store.
We witnessed a turf war. Elmo vs. Elmo. Luckily Batman was there to resolve the territorial dispute.
No trip to NYC is complete without a Naked Cowboy sighting.
We didn’t want THAT to be our last memory of the city, so our grand finale was a trip to the Top of the Rock for a bird’s-eye view.
Time for Hugh to take us back to the airport. Good-bye NYC.
When we arrived back at Dulles airport, I took all necessary precautions to make sure no paparazzi recognized me. (Yes, those are Voli sunglasses that were in my care package.) My disguise must have worked because not a single photog recognized me. Glad I dodged THAT bullet!
We didn’t know what to do after we left baggage claim. I mean NO ONE had a sign with our name on it. NO ONE offered to carry our luggage. Gawsh.
We had to walk ALL the way to the parking garage and then the worst thing of all happened. We had to DRIVE OURSELVES HOME.
Not impressed.
Fairy Tale is over. Back to life. Back to reality.
But I think we just may live happily ever after anyway!
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Thanks for following along with my Housewife Hero journey with a Real Housewife.
Don’t forget to follow Momopolize by email (upper right corner of this page). Any heroes you read about from here on will most likely be of the submarine sandwich variety. My glamorous real housewife life may be over, but my HUMOROUS real housewife life will continue on and on and on!
But – JUST IN CASE – don’t be surprised if you see me around town incognito…
Our dogs ran off yesterday. I looked outside and the gate at the back of our fenced yard was opened. Panic ensued. Lots of yelling, whistling and clapping (not sure what I thought the clapping would accomplish.) I remembered the last time the escaped – they would never have stopped if I hadn’t been in pursuit – so I knew that, even though they had been out for less than 10 minutes, they could have been anywhere!
I started driving around (even though, as I said, they could have been anywhere). Unfortunately all this occurred when I was supposed to be picking up the kids from school. I pulled up to school 5 minutes late and yelled “GET IN!” It could have been a get-away scene in a movie as we sped away. OK, I wasn’t speeding. Even in a panic I don’t speed in school zones.
After driving up and down every street around, I finally drove to a cul-de-sac that has access to the woods without trudging through waist-high brush. I walked down the path and over the board “bridge” that crosses a creek. It is literally a board. Shockingly I didn’t fall in. Admit it. You were hoping I’d say I did.
I saw something brown pouncing around in the distance. Then I saw TWO somethings brown. I couldn’t get a good view, so stood there for a moment to make sure it wasn’t deer. Too small for deer so it MUST be the dogs.
I started running through the muddy woods (in shoes I have only worn 3 times) getting closer and closer. Yelling and whistling (and still clapping) even louder now. I could only see one now and she wouldn’t come toward my calls. She just kept jumping on top of a pile of branches, disappearing underneath them and reappearing again on top.
Photo: flickr.com/vince1471
As I got really close, I stopped and got a good look. It wasn’t the dogs. It was a FOX! And the branches were probably covering her den.
I just ran up on a Momma fox protecting her babies.
Crap!
Luckily she chose to forgive my stupidity and went back in the den as I ran back toward the car.
It had been over an hour, so my mind switched to figuring out which photo would show up best on the “Lost Dogs” flier. Just then the phone rang. A good Samaritan had my wet, muddy dogs in her garage! They had followed the same creek I walked across all the way to her house. About 3 miles away.
Photo bedbathandbeyond.com
I think I’m going to buy one of those Potty Patch thingamabobs and never let the dogs outside again.
P.S. We never use that gate because it only leads to the waist high brush – and I was the only one home all day – so I’m left with the mystery of….Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who?
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(To read the parts of the NYC trip that you may have missed, click here.)
I promised you the good, the bad and the ugly when writing about my trip to New York. I intended to give you the good first, with a post on Voli’s blog about the fabulous parts of lunch with Melissa. It is taking longer to get on their blog as a writer than anticipated so, unfortunately, you get the bad and the ugly now instead of later. The “Yes, this crap really happens to me all the time” version of the day.
I wanted to JUST have a best-lunch-ever-living-the-good-life-for-a-day story to share with you about my lunch with Melissa. I think that’s what everyone wants to read. What everyone wants to hear. Don’t get me wrong. It was an incredible experience. But, as with most things in life, perfection is rare!
Living with Lyme Disease means that when I stress too much or do too much, my body freaks out on me. To put it in more official terms, it has an inflammatory response. It can happen suddenly. The morning of lunch, I guess my body decided to punish me for stressing too much. And for having too much fun the day before.
I woke in a fog, with a swollen face, hands and feet and feeling as if I had been hit by a truck. I knew the feeling all too well. Usually I can just hide in my bed when I’m feeling this way. And usually when I have something major going on in my life, adrenaline seems to get me through it. I usually don’t get ill until AFTERWARDS. But not this time.
I dragged myself out of bed. I stared in the mirror and wanted to scream. “Damn you body! Not today. This is my weekend to be a princess. It isn’t midnight yet. And I’m not supposed to be the one to turn into a pumpkin!”
I instantly put on my special high-rise shoes. I knew that if I was already swollen, that it would only get worse as the day went on. I had already bought the shoes a size too large, just in case. But if I waited too long, there was no way I’d get them on.
Fortunately, before the trip, my hair stylist had suggested a keratin treatment that makes my hair easy to straighten for about a week (Not the straightener with formaldehyde, I have enough toxins in my body without adding that.). I made an appointment for the keratin, plus a haircut and highlights. UNfortunately, my stylist decided to move to Utah the week before the trip. The nerve. I was able to switch the appointment to a new stylist for the keratin but didn’t want to risk a hair cut or highlights with someone new. So I had grey roots, split ends and bangs in my eyes. But even though every inch of my body hurt, I was able to have straight hair. Small victories. I planned to curl it and make it look all fancy and shiz, but that wasn’t in the cards.
The foggy feeling is appropriately called “brain fog” and it makes me so ditzy that if it had happened the night before, I probably would have thought the rosemary sprig in my drink actually WAS a tree branch. Of all the symptoms of lyme, I think I hate the cognitive ones the worst. Feeling like your brain won’t work just plain sucks.
While laying in bed, having a mini pity party over how I felt and trying to muster the energy to make my hair look more glamorous, the fire alarm went off. I kid you not. Lights flashing. Alarms sounding. Did I mention we were on the 16th floor? And that I was wearing a bathrobe? It went on for 15 minutes. It turned out to be a false alarm. They were just testing the detectors. A little heads up would have been nice…
I pulled myself together before George, the make-up artist, arrived. It was very hard not to put make-up on. I mean, he has met a lot of celebrities and was going to see me with NO make-up on. Yikes. But I realized how silly it would be for me to put make-up on, just for him to remove it to work his magic.
I had turned the TV on that morning since some of the morning shows are broadcast in NYC. Seemed like the thing to do since I was there. Access Hollywood was doing a special live broadcast from Rockefeller Plaza which was only a couple of blocks away. Jim had gone out to buy something for me. OK, I must admit…I made him go buy Spanx for me at THE Saks 5th Avenue. I guess I thought making my butt look smaller would detract from the puffiness. Who knows. But he went to get them. What a nice husband. Shopping in the lingerie section of a 10 story department store. Anyway, I digress. Jim came back carrying the little shopping bag and said he had walked by an area by Rockefeller Plaza that was blocked off for a show and had tried to get close enough to see what it was. I pointed to the TV and he realized it was Access Hollywood. Pretty funny that he walked by the show I was watching. (That story would have been much funnier if I had actually seen him in the crowd.)
When George arrived, I was worried he would have an “I can’t believe I have to waste my time doing make-up for this nobody housewife, when I usually do make-up for THE Housewives” attitude but he couldn’t have been nicer! We talked a bit about Access Hollywood and then Jim announced that he was going out for a cup of coffee. After he left, I was SURE he was going to go back to the Access Hollywood location and start making a fool of himself to get on camera so I’d see him on TV. But he really did just go get coffee. I guess he just wanted to leave because watching me get my make-up done was about as exciting as watching paint dry. I guess it pretty much IS watching paint dry.
Snooki and JWoww from Jersey Shore were on Access Hollywood, talking about a new show they are going to be on. I recognized Snooki but had to ask George who the other girl was. He knows them both and has hung out with them. On the Jersey Shore, of course. The place, not the show. When Jim returned with his coffee, he looked at the TV and announced “I’ll have to tell the kids that I walked by iCarly and the girl from Victorious.” Yes, Jim was serious. That’s who he thought they were. I’m sure George just shook his head at our cluelessness. We should have studied up on our reality stars before the trip.
My make-up session took over an hour (as opposed to my usual 5 minutes), so when George finished, it was time to head to the restaurant. I quickly changed my clothes and tried to fix my hair that had been held back by clips. Unfortunately, pre-hairsprayed hair clipped back for an hour is pretty much going to stay put exactly where it is. One last spray to try to keep my bangs where I wanted them and not where the clips put it was unsuccessful.
Oh well, not the perfect health for the day. And not the perfect hair. But my make-up looked good. And I had my nice, new expensive outfit.
During one last glimpse in the mirror, I noticed some black spots on my shirt. Apparently that fabric didn’t like hair spray. They wouldn’t go away. Gah.
Now not the perfect outfit either. No time to fret, and off we went to hail a cab. Swollen body, messed hair and stained clothes and all.
(I need to leave some topics to write about on Voli’s blog so will talk more about the make-up session and George then!)
From the moment we arrived in NY, I had noticed every single crack, chip, hole and grate in the sidewalks. I had repeatedly commented about how careful I would have to be when walking on the uneven sidewalk while wearing my ridiculously high-heel shoes. Since I was in a complete fog that morning, I didn’t heed my own warnings. I completely forgot about the fact that I was standing on 3″ stilts. Within 10 steps out of the hotel, I stepped on a crack and almost broke this Momma’s back. Or ankle. Completely turned my foot over and was going down. Luckily Jim caught me so I didn’t end up sprawled on the ground. I realized I hadn’t buckled that shoe. I’m not sure if that helped cause the fall or it prevented me from actually breaking my ankle since my foot was able to slip out of the shoe as I went down.
The almost wipe out snapped me out of my stupor for a bit. We arrived at the restaurant and I was semi-functioning cognitively. Semi. As the lunch went on, I could feel myself going down hill again. I had so many questions to ask Melissa and I forgot to ask her at least half of them. I tried to so hard to focus and remember but I was just blank. I especially wanted to ask about her book deal but…blank. I had printed out the story from my contest entry that won me the trip to take for her to autograph. But I left it at the hotel. Luckily I was at least able to answer most of the questions Melissa asked me without sounding like a total idiot (I think.)
I kept pulling my sleeves down as far as I could, to try to conceal my increasingly puffy fingers. I don’t know what causes the swelling. I guess my body takes the word “inflammation” literally. There are so many times I will see someone one day who will comment “Wow, you’ve lost weight so fast. What’s your secret?” I want to answer “Ask the effing lyme bacteria. I guess they are tired today and didn’t feel like adding on 10 pounds of swelling like they do most days.” But instead I usually say “Thanks. It must be a slimming outfit.”
(Again, I will write about all of the AWESOME parts of lunch on Voli’s blog. Sorry you are getting the crappy parts here.)
By the time we got back to the hotel, my feet were bulging out between the straps of my shoes. I didn’t take any photos of that. I know I promised the good, the bad and the ugly. But that was just TOO ugly…
Speaking of photos, sadly I don’t even have many from the lunch. There was an official press photographer there and we were told we’d get all the photos sent to us. I guess by “all” they meant just the ones approved for press release. I’ve requested photos from 3 different people and get the same handful of pictures sent to me, even though the photographer was snapping for 2 hours.
Honestly, I hate the photos anyway. And not just because I’m next to the woman who was just named the second most beautiful reality star. I hate them because, as the lunch progresses, I can see the strained “just smile so no one will know how bad you feel” expression on my face get worse and worse. It probably isn’t apparent to anyone else, because I’ve perfected it pretty well. But I can tell. Hey, the one perfect thing of the day. My perfect fake smile! I mean, the photos are fine. But I didn’t want “fine.” I wanted best-photos-ever. This was supposed to be my Cinderella day. Supposed to be my day to shine. But I was feeling very dull.
I wanted the photos like the day before when we arrived in New York. The day I felt great. Those are real smiles. Those photos are ME. The me that comes and goes now. The me before I became ill. The me that dances Gangnam Style in the middle of time square. The me that smiles. Really smiles.
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And now for a glimpse of the happy times I will be writing about on Voli’s blog…
Private dining room!Personal bartender and any Voli vodka drink imaginable!Waiting for Melissa to arrive.Yeah, even the fake smile wasn’t perfect…The arrival. Melissa is a tiny little thing but not sure why I look 6″ taller than JIM in this photo.Believe it or not, she is even more beautiful in person!Funniest moment. Melissa was trying to drink through a stirrer.A toast to the housewives.Can I just add how much I love Melissa for ordering a steak for lunch? And how much I hate her for ordering a steak for lunch…and being able to weigh 100 pounds! 😀
I will let you know the link to Voli’s blog when it is posted (after approval, so may take a while).
Next up here…”NYC Part 3B – They Say The Neon Lights Are Bright”
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Remember my never-made-a-pie-before-confession? (Obviously that included chicken popped pie also.). Well, now I have! Jake brought his grades up and as a reward I did it. I baked a chocolate meringue pie. And not an Oppan Costco Style pie. I didn’t even use instant pudding. And I made meringue too! Aren’t you proud?____________________________________________________
I usually post jokes and less than stellar moments about my children because no one wants to hear about the sweet, well-behaved moments. Those are just boring.
But I have to share this little note I found scribbled in the notebook I keep next to my computer. Very heartfelt for a 13-year-old…
I will keep it handy for the next time he is screaming how much he hates me.
We decided to take a break in the cocktail lounge and enjoy our chance to walk out on a bar tab with permission. Again we were doted on. The staff came over and sat with us while asking to hear all about the Housewife Heroes contest. They oohed and aahed over the prize package and were very excited that we were meeting Melissa Gorga.
Excuse me waiter, there’s a tree in my drink!We don’t need to go to Rockefeller Plaza to see the Christmas tree. Just look in my drink!Yummiest tree ever.
On our way to Rockefeller Plaza, we had a photo-op in front of policemen riding horses.
Unfortunately, “riding the horse” made me think of the Gangnam style video.
Oh yes I did. I broke out into dance. Right in the middle of Times Square. My kids disowned me when they saw these photos.
I guess I had too many of those Christmas tree drinks…
Decided it was a good idea to get some food in our bellies so we took a taxi to Lombardi’s. Jimmy and Jake had very similar responses when we told them we ate the oldest pizza in the US.
“That must have tasted rotten.” “Was the cheese green?”
Oops. No smiling next to Mona Lisa, right?No teeth allowed.Just think how many cupcakes I could make with THIS!!The only thing green is the basil.
Speaking of green stuff, Rockefeller Plaza was just gorgeous! Although you couldn’t really tell it was a green tree under all the lights.
The bar could make a TON of drinks with all these branches.
(Before you think I’m completely ditzy, I DO realize it was a rosemary sprig in my drink. But, naturally, I had to seize any opportunity for a joke.)
30,047 lights on the tree. I counted.Looks just like our tree at home!Hallelujah!
I decided to stay off the ice. Weak cheeks do run in our family after all (Remember, “A Pain in the Coccyx?“). I didn’t need a pain in the butt during lunch with Melissa. But Jim came anyway. Ba-Dum-Ching. (Sorry Jim, I couldn’t resist.)
I’d hate to have to untangle THAT string of lights.I knew my flute skills would come in handy again some day…Touching the giant ornament…or AM I??
We did some window shopping.
For a city that never sleeps, the chocolate store surely does close early…LET ME IN!Mini Rockefeller Plaza. Lego style.Surrounded by tall buildings!Window shopping on 5th Ave. A must.It may be the city that doesn’t sleep. But it does get tired.
Up next “NYC Part 3 – In The Lyme Light.” What lunch with a celeb is REALLY like.
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As soon as our driver, Hugh, picked us up at the airport, I felt like Cinderella on the way to the ball. Hugh drives Melissa Gorga and other celebrities all the time, yet he made us feel like royalty.
He carried our bags to his pristine black Escalade. As we approached the car, I felt as though I was walking toward our black Suburban. I always wondered what the big attraction was with the Cadillac version over the Chevrolet. Both have pretty much the same frame, so I just didn’t get it. Until I sat in the Escalade. Aaah, luxury. Well, just the fact that it was 12 years newer than our Suburban and didn’t have French fries all over the floor would have been enough. But it also had all the bells and whistles. Plus opera music playing. I felt so sophisticated.
I don’t know why New Yorkers have the reputation of being rude. Hugh was one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met, as were most of the people we encountered. He gave us a newcomers’ guide to New York during our ride to the hotel. We didn’t get lost once during the trip, thanks to Hugh’s tips.
We checked in at the Time Hotel and, again, got a taste of how it feels to be a celebrity. When we gave them our names, the hotel clerk exclaimed “Oh, you are the contest winner!” We were told we had two care packages waiting for us at the concierge desk. When we entered our room, there was a message on our phone from Voli welcoming us to New York and inviting us to go relax in the hotel cocktail lounge since our tab was prepaid for anything we wished to have. We weren’t ready to start drinking vodka that early in the afternoon, so decided to go sight-seeing first.
The Time Hotel is (appropriately) located right in the Times Square area. We took a stroll around to admire the grandeur.
Wow!I had to get a shot of my morning addiction, Diet Coke.I want to see them ALL!
Everything was so impressively huge. Except the iconic “ball drop.” I will never again look at it the same on New Year’s Eve. That tiny little thing above “2013” is it? I’m not sure what I expected, but I know it wasn’t that.
We didn’t realize the coincidence, but our next 3 stops were Roxy’s Deli, Hard Rock Café and Rockefeller Plaza! I guess we were anticipating a “rocky” time.
We stopped for a late lunch at Roxy’s. I must say after the hype about New York food, this was the one place that did not impress me. We didn’t want to eat too much because we were looking forward to pigging out at Lombardi’s for dinner so we just ordered a couple of appetizers. Perhaps if we had ordered the $25 deli sandwich (apparently they are expensive, but huge. You can share…for an extra $7!), we would have enjoyed it more. The appetizers were just “eh.” Cool atmosphere though.
In the mirror’s reflection, you will notice the walls were covered with caricatures of celebrities.
Maybe the caricatures contributed to my disappointment. It reminded me of the “I Love Lucy” episode where she ate at the Brown Derby, which also had caricatures of the rich and famous. But the celebs often ate at the Brown Derby and Lucy saw stars sitting at the tables next to her. The only famous thing I saw at Roxy’s was the New York Cheesecake.
Photo: media.kicktastic.com
Oh well, if I had someone to gawk at, they probably would have ended up with a pie in the face also. Or, more likely, a cheesecake in the face. (I’m sure all the young’uns reading this right now have no idea what I’m talking about…You can watch the full I Love Lucy episode here. I had forgotten how much I LOVE that show.)
Photo: hollywoodphotographs.com
Hard Rock Café was in fact full of fame and fortune. Mostly in the form of rock star’s guitars. This place got a thumbs up. Lots of them.
Taking a photo by the sign seemed to be the thing to do. Everyone was doing it. So we did also. Good thing everyone wasn’t jumping off the Brooklyn bridge. This post is getting long and I’m out of time right now so I think my journey may need a “NYC Part 2B – Hey Waiter, There’s A Tree In My Drink.” Watch for it later today!
Next stop, fabulous Rockefeller Plaza…with a few detours along the way…
(For the NYC details you may have missed, click here.)
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Yesterday I tried to figure out what to write about my Housewife Heroes trip. I started and stopped a couple of times, wondering what everyone wanted to hear. Should I just stick to the glitz and glam of it all? Does everyone just need the happily-ever-after-fairy-tale version?
But Momopolize is all about telling it like it is. Was it an awesome, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Oh, yeah! Does anything ever go perfectly? Oh, no! So…here it goes. The good, the bad and the ugly. And, of course, the funny.
Bear with me on Part 1. It’s not so exciting. No celebrities. Yet. But still part of the story. Parts 2 and 3 will contain the Access Hollywood worthy parts. Actually, there really is an Access Hollywood part to the story.
I was so busy with work and holiday shopping before Christmas, that I didn’t have any time to even think about my trip. Well, I had time to think about it. To stress about it. But not any time to DO anything about it. That was ok though. I’d still have a week after Christmas to figure out where the boys would stay, how they’d get to their sports and various activities while we were gone, buy an entirely new wardrobe. And lose 30 pounds.
No problem.
Until I woke up sick on December 27.
For those that don’t know, I have Lyme Disease. And Lupus. So I’m sick a lot. But this was a snotty nose, can’t talk without coughing up a lung sick. Just what you want when going to have lunch with a celebrity.
Luckily after taking every supplement and medicine known to man, I was feeling better for New Year’s. But I now had a DAY to figure out where the boys would stay, how they’d get to their sports and various activities while we were gone, buy an entirely new wardrobe. And lose 30 pounds.
I splurged on an outfit I wouldn’t normally buy and ridiculous shoes to go with it. I bought another outfit with a leopard print shirt. Because even when you are scared on the inside, animal prints make you LOOK courageous. Jim took care of the arrangements for the boys. We were ready to go. Except for the 3o pounds part.
The morning of, we were packed and ready to send the boys off to school with our heartfelt goodbyes. With plenty of time to get to the airport. Except we realized one child needed a prescription refill. Mad dash to the pediatrician (who luckily had early morning hours that day) and then the 24 hour pharmacy. Then one missed his ride to school. Mad dash to drop him off…in a carpool line that seemed to take for. ev. er. Then another one left his overnight bag at home that he needed to take to the friend’s house where he was staying. Mad dash. Then we noticed one left his lunch money home (won’t name names, but it was the same one who forgot his luggage.). One more mad dash.
We arrived at the airport. By the time we took a bus from the parking garage, got our boarding passes, checked our luggage, made it through security (why do I always get so nervous during that part even though I know I am not guilty of anything??), took the shuttle to the main terminal and arrived at our gate, we had about 10 minutes before boarding.
Our original seats weren’t together but we were told we could switch to the exit row once we arrived at the gate. This turned out to be a fortunate event. Because when we asked about switching seats, the gate attendant realized that while Jim had a printed out boarding pass in his hand, it wasn’t in the system. He wouldn’t be able to board. You’ll notice in my list of things we did when we arrived at the airport, the only thing before getting our boarding passes was taking the bus from the parking garage. The rest of the things listed AFTER that took at least an hour.
Panic set in as I thought the attendant was telling us that Jim had to go back and somehow re-do all of it in 10 minutes 5 minutes before boarding. While the attendant never was sure when or how the glitch occurred, he was thankfully able to make a call and do some magic on the computer to fix Jim’s boarding pass at the gate. As he scanned our passes for us to get on the plane, he looked at Jim and said “it still isn’t working.” He was joking. Not cool Mr. United. Not cool.
I won’t be going on this trip alone after all. Whew.
All of that for a 55 minute flight which, fortunately, was uneventful after that. We even had tons of extra leg room by sitting on the exit row. So it was pretty much like flying first class, right? Just humor me here.
When we arrived at LaGuardia, Melissa Gorga’s personal chauffeur was waiting at baggage claim. Holding this sign…
Let the pampering begin!
To be continued…
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I realize it is January, but amidst all the posts about resolutions being broken, I thought you all could use a little more Christmas cheer!
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Jimmy (in a Grinch-ish mood): I hate the wreath on the front door. All it does is get in my way. I hate real trees too. I think I’m allergic.
Eric: Did you just say you hate grilled trees???
Jimmy: Yes, I said I hate GRILLED trees. I prefer my trees lightly broiled.
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While playing a little Christmas trivia with Jake…
Me: “Fill in the blank for the Grinch lyric. You’re a bad _____ with a greasy black peel.”
Jake: “Ummm…give me a hint.”
Me: “They always show people slipping on it in cartoons.”
Jake: “Ummm…give me another hint.”
Me: “It is something monkeys eat.”
Jake: “FECES!”
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Jake was wearing a new shirt and realized he hadn’t taken the size sticker off.
Eric was in an extra chatty mood during a car ride and his noise level was annoying his brothers.
Jake: “Eric needs this XL sticker for his mouth!”
I’m not sure if Jake meant because Eric was being Extra Loud or if he wanted to actually use the sticker to cover Eric’s mouth.
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After making at least 4 shopping trips to Dick’s sporting goods during the holiday season, we realized we still needed to buy a gift card from there for our nephew. Of course, it is at the mall. The dreaded mall. There wasn’t a parking space in sight so Jim decided to pull up in front of the store and run in while the rest of us waited in the car.
Thirty seconds later I see flashing lights behind our car. Busted by mall security. I instinctively grabbed for my license as he approached the window, but stopped myself. Before he could even say a word, I blurted out “I’m sorry sir. We are just waiting for my husband to come out with our merchandise so we can load it into the car.”
Yes, I blatantly and remorselessly lied in front of my children. Well, technically I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell him what our “merchandise” was. But I just KNOW the mall cop watched Jim walk out with nothing but a tiny little card and hop in the car.
When we arrived at my in-laws, Jake announces “Mom, tell everyone how you got pulled over on the way here!”
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Jimmy’s #1 item on his Christmas list was a game called “Far Cry.” Jake used an old game case and Google images to make this…
Jimmy didn’t realize it was a prank until he opened it and saw this…
(He DID get the actual game later.)
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We don’t put any wrapped gifts under the tree until after the kids go to bed Christmas Eve. Initially, the reason was to keep curious toddlers from tearing off the pretty shiny paper before Christmas. Now that they are old enough to know better (in theory), we still don’t put them out until Christmas Eve so the nosey dogs and cats don’t mess them up.
Actually, we don’t put them out until then because I am always up wrapping into the wee hours of Christmas Eve/Morn, but the dog and cat excuse makes me sound less disorganized.
When it is time, I arrange the presents in a beautiful, colorful display under the real (grilled) tree in our family room. We also have a fake tree in our (never lived in) living room. This year, when the boys came downstairs Christmas morning, I told them we had decided to put he gifts under the fake tree for a change. They walked in the living room to find only this…
They weren’t amused. Well, Greg was. Until he realized it wasn’t even real coal in the bag. Getting coal for Christmas is one thing. Getting PLASTIC coal is just downright insulting.
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During Christmas break, my blog (lovingly, of course) became the butt of all jokes. No matter what happened, the response would be “I’m TOTALLY going to blog about that.”
Jimmy enjoyed poking fun at my blog so much, he said he is going to start his own…
We have an awful, horrible family tradition of going to the mall to see Santa…on Christmas Eve. To avoid standing in line for hours, we have to get there by 8am. Now that we have two teens in the house…let’s just say they are less than thrilled about this tradition.
Me: “I know you don’t want to go but I just want a photo of all 4 of you. You don’t have to sit on Santa’s lap. Just stand next to the chair.”
Jimmy: “No, I’m sitting ON his lap. I’m going to make this as uncomfortable for him as it is for me.”
How to get teens to agree to visit Santa at the mall? Bribery.
Since I didn’t send Christmas cards this year (or last…or the year before…),
here is our Christmas Eve in photos:
Me: Greg, scoot closer to Jimmy. Closer. Closer. Jimmy: Why am I here? Jake and Eric: GREG!!! MOVE!!!Greg: Why the heck are you yelling at me??? (The finger sticking up is a coincidence. I think.) Jimmy: Why. Am. I. Here?Greg: Why is everyone in that huge long line behind us staring? Jimmy: Because we are freaks.The perfect, happy family. For a second…Uh. Oh. Jake has that look in his eye…Jake: Stop what? It’s just a hug. Jimmy: No. I am NOT hiding a smile.Jimmy (in his best Mom voice): Now boys. This is not a wrestling mat.Greg: And THAT is for yelling at me! Me: I’m totally blogging about this.
Me: Greg looks like the Peanuts kids when they are singing.
Jake: Yeah, the dirty one!
After all the evil glares, Jimmy appears to be the happiest of all to see Santa!
Eric: Hey Greg, wouldn’t it be cool to have a jersey of someone who actually still plays on the team???All smiles on the way out……and then back to life as usual.
Don't ask me about my kids or I will Momopolize the conversation!
